


Chip, Jeff, Ryan

by Greenfrogger



Category: Whose Line Is It Anyway? RPF
Genre: Abuse, Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Bipolar Disorder, Blow Jobs, Custody Battle, Depression, Dildos, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fivesome - M/M/M/M/M, Fluff, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, Gay Sex, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Oral Sex, Self-Esteem Issues, Sex Toys, Sexual Content, Smut, Threesome - M/M/M, Verbal Abuse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-22
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-11-13 12:18:10
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 24,415
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11184963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Greenfrogger/pseuds/Greenfrogger
Summary: About three guys who come together to form an unusual relationship.





	1. Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This will serve as information page. The next chapter will begin our story.

This is the new and improved version of Chip, Jeff, and Ryan. I loved my idea but re-reading the story on-line one day I realized it was horrible and knew I could write better.

Patricia Stiles and Dan Patterson are important components of the story as well.

The language used in this story is not for the faint of heart or those who have not reached the age of majority. This story in NC-17. Therefore this story can only be read by people who are registered on this site.

The main line of the story is the same - Chip, Jeff, and Ryan’s relationship but now I have Greg and Brad involved Now you may wonder why Brad is even involved in this story. The reason is simple - in reality I think Brad is the funniest improviser of them all. So therefore he’s in the story. Also, in real life he tours with Colin and I had to come up with a reason to leave Colin’s tour in the story and give Greg someone to play with. It just seems odd that the three of them together, leaving Greg out of it so I felt bad. Maybe they’ll have a fivesome….

I love character driven stories and love the idea of Chip, Jeff and Ryan together from other stories I have read on LiveJournal. I don’t care if you know that something is not possible, this is fiction and in this particular world it does.

Obviously this story is 100% fiction. Colin is obviously not a homophobic. Ryan, Jeff, or Chip have never mentioned that they suffer from depression nor bi-polar; nor are they gay or in a relationship with one another.

I’ve taken a psychology class in college but that was 20 years ago and I couldn’t tell you anything from that class. I have gather most of my information from the Internet and have tried my best to write depression and bi-polar as honest as possible. Just as a note, I don’t know if one can be diagnosis with depression first and then it lead to bi-polar but for Chip the emergence of his bi-polar is when he learns his wife is having an affair (n Chapter 7). I may have this all wrong and I apologize but it works for the story. I have probably not written the manic episodes well and apologize if anyone is offended by what I have written. I’m primary writing this story for my enjoyment (how I write all my stories) and then for those who enjoy reading it. I am in no way trying to minimize that depression and bi-polar are deliberating diseases.

 

Reality Changes (this will be add to as we go because I’m still writing this as I wrote this):

The story starts in 2004 because it’s the last season of the Drew Carey Show and it fit the beginning of the story. No other reason then that. So taping for DCS probably ended in 2003 or early 2004 to provide time for editing the shows.

Reality: Whose Line continued until 2007, then Green Screens, then Improv-a-ganza, then Whose Line II. In my reality Whose Line is continuing but the gang go to Las Vegas to do a bunch of shows that will be edited and be aired as “Improv-a-ganza” on GSN (let’s just say) while Whose Line will continue on ABC. So CW, Green Screens, Aisha (sorry, I like her more than Drew) will probably not make an appearance in this story. Also, Jeff, Chip, Ryan, Greg with Brad tagging along have not gone on tour yet.

I’m not sure when the Stiles moved from L.A. to Bellingham, WA in reality but in my story they have always lived in Washington in my story. 

The ages of the children will be different. Ryan older children will be high school students and his youngest daughter Clare will be 5.

The Esten kids will be 14, 11, and 8.

If you don’t like Colin or Patti Esten being the meanies, I mean bad guys, don’t read the story.

I assuming that Ryan hated flying even when he flew back and forth to the UK for Whose Line.

Remember this story is FICTION. They are characters with some real-life attributes but this is not anyone's reality.


	2. Ryan's Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan begins the story by providing a brief introduction of how their lives are in the present and briefly his thought process about how his life.
> 
> This chapter is in Ryan's voice

“This is our story.” Ryan Stiles

ABC decided that for the 2004-2005 television season Whose Line would be a mid-season replacement. With that being said, Dan Patterson, executive producer, along with myself and other producers decided postpone filming Whose Line until June. That allowed Drew Carey and myself to solely concentrate on the last season of Drew Carey Show. What a blessing it was. By working on Whose Line only, which was a once a week gig on Saturdays, it allowed me to get to know Chip and Jeff better. Getting to know them better allowed the three of us to be involved in a loving relationship.

I couldn’t be happier. Myself, Jeff, Chip, Pat and our six kids, along with Greg, and Brad live as one happy family in Bellingham, Washington. It’s nice to be able to live how we want, not how society wants us to. I never thought that I would be able to live with who I love; not with a woman and 2.5 children because that’s what society says. I love Pat and always will, but I also love Chip and Jeff with the same, if not more, intensity. All the kids love each other as brother and sister without judgement. One would say we are one happy family. 

I wanted to write this, providing an eye into our lives so that our fans know the real truth. There are lots of truths, half truths and lies out there. I know that there are people who feel we are going to go to hell for our lifestyle but that’s their beliefs, not mine nor my family. I wanted to tell the world about how we came to be one family.

While you could say we officially got together in June, 2004, the beginning of this story started earlier. It started the Summer of 2003, when we, members of Whose Line, wanted to be free from the censors of ABC/Disney and do a more off the cuff version of Whose Line which Drew called Improvaganza in Las Vegas. We weren’t exactly looking to be picked up by GSN but we were happy that we were. While backstage getting ready or cleaning up after the show, was when I got to see Jeff and Chip at their most vulnerable (at the time) and liked what I saw. I loved Pat but I realized that my interest in men never went away and I couldn’t suppress it any longer. It felt odd in the beginning that 20 years after Pat and I got together that I need a man or men to fulfill my needs but there I was in a hotel room in Vegas watching gay porn and imagining it was myself, Chip and Jeff.

I never cheated on Pat. Never. Lord knows I was tempted, especially during Improvaganza, seeing the Chip and Jeff in less clothes, but it never went further than me drooling over them at that time. LOL. The saying of what goes on in Vegas stays in Vegas is true if you’re able to keep your mouth shut. I wouldn’t have been able to, so it was better to jackoff back in my hotel room watching gay porn.

When Pat and I first got together, we would fly together to the UK for Whose Lines gigs. I kinda conned them into paying for her ticket as well in the attempt to having her keep my crazy flying fears in check. I’ll fly, I’m just scared shitless about it. Much prefer the comfort of a tour bus, but a bus can’t drive across the ocean. People ask about a boat and I tell them I would rather fly then take a cruise anytime. But once she became pregnant I told her to stay home. I’m sure it sounds pretty sexist but knowing that she was safe on the ground took away some of the stress of flying. The deal was that she took care of the house and the family in Bellingham, while I worked. It worked well. Unfortunately, in the end I needed something more than she could give me and she graciously allowed me to pursue it.


	3. Pat's Voice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pat takes over the story. She gets into the more nitty gritty of what family life was before they made a decision that would not only affect their lives but the lives of others that they truly love and adore. Dan Patterson makes his entrance into the story when Pat calls him concern about Ryan.

As the years passed, I realized that our marriage was in trouble. Ryan became more and more withdrawn when he was home in Bellingham. Withdrawn, not only from me but the kids as well. Every time he came home I could see the struggle in his eyes on how to hold a simple conversation with our children. I would later learn that he felt they were strangers to him because he really didn’t know who they were. He didn’t know what they liked or didn’t like in school, name of their friends, or what interest that they had. He was jealous of the close relationship I had but also knew that it was his doing even though he was working.

People have asked me if I knew Ryan’s interest in men before we became serious and gotten married. I did but he assured me that he did love me and wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. At the time, it was the right thing to do but as time marched on society started to accept those who were gay. I love Ryan and always will but sometimes you have to let go to those you hold dearly to let them explore and be who they truly are. I know that sounds like I just gave up but in reality I didn’t - I actually gained so much more than a lot of people have.

When Ryan called me in the Spring, 2003 and told me that (a) he was going to Las Vegas to do shows with Drew, Colin and the gang to keep his Improv skills going strong during the summer and (b) that 2003-2004 season of Drew Carey Show would be it’s last I knew our marriage was over. While filming the last two seasons of Drew Carey and Whose Line at the same time, he would only be home a few days out of the month. While he would sleep at night when he was home with us,, he would have intense sexual dreams. At first I was livid because I knew they weren’t about me but eventually I would learn about the two guys he was dreaming about. I thought at first he was dreaming about Colin. Ryan had always told me he wasn’t interested in Colin that way but i thought he said it to me to keep me off his back. I thought maybe to satisfy his sexual urges while he wasn’t home, him and Colin got it going. How wrong I was, but at the time I really thought I was right.

I even went as far as calling Dan Patterson to see what he had to say about Ryan’s behavior at work. Dan laughed at me and assured me that Ryan was not having an affair and wasn’t interested in Colin. What Dan did was encouraged me to have a talk with Ryan about our marriage, kids and future, explaining that Ryan had confided to him about his feelings regarding me, kids and life in general. Dan wouldn’t really discuss to much over the phone because he wasn’t going to go behind Ryan’s back and blurt everything to me which I thought was fair. After the phone conversation I sat down and thought about what was fair to both Ryan and I and what I wanted out of life.

Thinking I came to the conclusion that Ryan and I both wanted a different life then what we were in at the moment. It was only fair to let Ryan go if he wanted out. Looking back, I can understand the “Stranger in my own house” comment because he was. The kids were use to me being a single parent. Granted he brought the money home but as time went on he worked more and more and was home less and less. It made it difficult for all of us when he was home and then when he wasn’t home. I made it a point and this was after Drew Carey was over with to have a talk with him to let him know that it was okay if he wanted out. I knew he didn’t love any of us any less but I just felt that he had to find out who Ryan was and at the time I realized Ryan loved me, but more as a friend and wanted something that I couldn’t give him.

The older kids had caught on that dad and mom were having problems and had asked me several times if I thought divorce was the answer. I tried to be honest as possible and said it may happen. I didn’t tell them that Ryan had been interested in guys, I figured if it came to that in the future we would cross that bridge then. Even Clare, who was five, at the time could see the sadness in Ryan’s eyes and wondered why. She asked me when he was home for good, after Drew Carey was over, “Why was daddy sad? He should be happy to be home?” I explained that he should but sometimes people feel sad that they just can’t get over and need help from a doctor. She seemed to accept this answer.


	4. Conversation between Pat and Ryan (Early, 2004)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Discussion of the status of Ryan’s and Pat’s marriage. With kids away, the adults calmly discuss the pros and cons of being married. Dan Patterson also is in this chapter in a past conversation with Ryan.

It was Pat that found the courage to start the conversation with Ryan about their relationship. With the kids out of the house, one wet, cloudy, January, (2004) morning Pat and Ryan had what they now say was their infamous discussion.

On the way home from the babysitters, Pat reminder herself of the following:

“Remember, don’t be angry with him. He’s probably confused about what to do. You’ve never had any reason to think that he’s cheating, and he’s not, you know that. Don’t get crazy thoughts until you hear what he’s feeling. But remember if it’s Colin he’s having an affair with you have always said to yourself it would be okay. But then remember what Dan said - have a conversation with Ryan to know what he’s feeling. If it’s not Colin, then….”

Pat didn’t finish the thought because she was home. Searching for Ryan, she founded him sitting on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor.

“Hey.” 

Pat said quietly, not to scare him.

“Hi guess I got lost in my thoughts.” 

Ryan quietly said back to her.

“No problem, what were you thinking about?” 

Pat asked hoping it would start a conversation with him about what was bothering him.

Ryan was conflicted. Pat did know the truth about his sexual history before they got serious. At the time they got together, he enjoyed being with women more and got married to her. Now, 20 plus years later, he suddenly wanted to jump the track to the other side. He’d been thinking long and hard and if Pat couldn’t accept it, he would give her the divorce. As much as he hated to hurt her, he couldn’t suppress this side of him for much longer.

He had Dan’s (Patterson, Whose Line’s executive producer) blessing. Shit, he actually ran interference for Ryan and watched Jeff and Chip during their time in Las Vegas to see if they were interested in Ryan. Dan had learned a few things while keeping an eye out on those two

Near the end of the Las Vegas run, Dan and Ryan have a talk in Dan’s hotel room at the MGM Grand Hotel. 

“Prior to this run in Vegas, Jeff stated he would only do shows that he and Chip were in together. I offered shows without Chip and he declined. I don’t think there’s a romantic relationship, per se, between them but something is brewing. Jeff and Chip are never without the other. So obviously they come in a pair and there’s no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

At the last after, after party I got a lucky break and got Jeff alone. Chip was there, but was sleeping against Jeff. So I started shooting the breeze and learned when Jeff’s been drinking a lot, he has loose lips and isn’t afraid to admit anything. I quickly turned the conversation towards a sexual nature and asked if he and Chip were now boyfriends in joking manner since they’re stuck like two peas in a pod. He actually told me he loves Chip, and if he could he would, but right now that wasn’t possible since he was still married. Although I think there’s more to that story then Jeff was comfortable talking about so I dropped it. I went on and asked if he was interested in the cast and he said he said you. He had noticed you had been eyeing him as well but wasn’t sure if you were curious or just looking at some eye candy. Unfortunately that’s where the conversation ended because Chip woke up and wanted to go back to the room.”

Dan paused to let Ryan take in the information. 

“I know that it’s scary for you, but you also have needs that Pat can’t help you with. Talk to her, be upfront about everything that your feeling. If you don’t, you’re going to drive yourself insane and never be happy. Trust me, I think she would understand. You told her before getting involved seriously that you liked men as well. I think she would get it.”

The thoughts going through Ryan’s mind:

Ryan was almost certain he wanted out of the marriage. Not because he didn’t want to hurt or lose Pat, but he wanted to get out of the way and avoid hurting the children. Yes, divorce would be hard, but trying to explain why your mother tolerates your dad having a gay affair with not one, but two people who happened to be his co-stars would be difficult for them to deal in their day-to-day life.

Shit, he’s had fucking orgasms in his sleep, dreaming about making love to Jeff and Chip, especially since he and Dan talked. He wished Colin would understand. Once they talked about Ryan being bisexual and Colin looked at him and said, “Really?” Ryan never spoke about it to Colin again.

When Ryan would escape to his pole barn and wouldn’t be interrupted he brought out his favorite toy: a long, 8 inch, caucasian colored latex dildo. Ryan would eventually fess up years later what he was doing most of the time out in the barn but Pat never came to the real truthful conclusion on her own. There were times a simple thought, innocent smile, or smell in the air would lead to a raging hard-on that he needed relief and a blow-job from Pat wouldn’t suffice. He needed to feel, up the alley, so to speak while imagining the dildo was attached to either Jeff or Chip.

 

Ryan continued to look at the floor. Scared to express what he was thinking.

“Ryan, I took Clare to a sitter this morning so you and I can talk without the need to censor ourselves. Okay?”

Surprised by this, Ryan suddenly looks up at her.

“I’m confused.” 

Ashamed, he then returns his attention to the floor.  
Pat desperately wants to touch Ryan. Comfort him. But she knows if she tries to reach out to him that he will clam up and run to the safety and comfort of the barn. So she tries to act nonchalantly by calmly sitting down next to him.

“Okay. What are you confused about?”

“About a lot of things.”

Pat nods her head that she heard Ryan but’s that’s only reaction.

It was a few minutes before Ryan spoke again.

“Are you truly happy, not satisfied, with our relationship?”

“No, and neither are you.”

Ryan, surprised by her answers, immediately looks up at her.

“I will always love you, Ryan but it still not enough. You need to go find out who Ryan is and who Ryan wants to be with. In the last twenty plus years we’ve both changed. I went from being dependent on you to being self-sufficient and loathe when you’re home because you want to know the why in every decision I make.”

Minutes later…..Ryan spoke quietly, ashamed of what he was going to admit to Pat

“I feel trapped. It was different when Mac and Sam were born. I was thrilled when they were born and knew that for the next 10 to 15 years I would have to be the family man. They were young adults and I thought we could rekindle our relationship but then we didn’t realize how awesome my swimmers are and that crazy egg of yours and suddenly before we realize it we have Clare.”

Ryan looked up at Pat for any sign that it was okay to freely admit what he was feeling.

“It’s okay, Ryan.” 

Ryan finally allows Pat to comfort him. He puts his head on her shoulder and she gives him a sideway hug.

“I love Clare but I don’t know her nor my children anymore. What’s sad is that I don’t want to make the effort to. It just seems that your lives are complicated and I can’t find a way to get my foot in the door of our family.”

Before speaking, Pat takes a deep breath.

“Ryan, there’s something I need to admit to you. The first time I woke up to you having an intense sexual dream I was jealous and mad because I wasn’t involved in the dream. From what I understood from your mumbles you were with another man. I let my emotions get ahead of me and called Dan (Patterson) because I was afraid you were having an affair with Colin.”

Ryan laughed. 

“I can assure you it’s not Colin. I’ve tried to talk to him but he keeps bringing back the conversation to how can you feel that. He tells me how perfect my life is because I get to do what I love.” 

Pat smiles at Ryan.

“I know that now. Each dream you would revealed a bit more. Eventually you said the names Chip and Jeff. I’m assuming that’s who you are interested in. I do have to agree with you that they are sexy.”

Ryan was surprised by Pat’s admission. He looked at her and smiled. 

“I find both Chip and Jeff attractive. In Vegas we shared one large room that served as a dressing room for all of us. I saw more skin of Jeff and Chip than I thought was possible. I always had a man crush on them but after seeing them in their underwear with little left to the imagination, my brain went overdrive and started to have sexual dreams about them. I would love to be with them but I’m not sure if they swing that way. I know that Chip is married and Jeff has been rumored to be bisexual but there’s been rumors swirling around about the pair being a couple.”

There was a comfortable silence in the room. Both Pat and Ryan were thinking about what the next step would be in their relationship.

“What do you think we should do next? Should one of us move out and start divorce proceedings?”

“There’s no rush to start that is there?”

Ryan wasn’t sure how to respond.

“What I’m saying is let’s test the water. There’s no rush to file and then find out it’s wrong. If you and Chip and Jeff work out and you want out, I’ll give it to you and vice versa, okay?”

 

Ryan and Pat decided not to say anything to the kids until they were ready to begin divorce proceedings. Neither one was ready to move out of the house so they agree to be together and be platonic or passionate as they wanted. Pat explained that the kids were beginning to worry about him and he agreed to try and be more involved. Pat knew it was hard for him to hear about the kids being worried about him, but hoped it would motivate Ryan to see his doctor because Pat thought he was had depression.

It was a cold February morning when Ryan got up and gave Pat a kiss on the lips before heading out, telling her he was going to meet up with friends for breakfast, all of which was unusual for Ryan. Pat didn’t believe him one bit that he was going to breakfast. The previous night Ryan had been acting nervous and fidgety and Pat knew he did this when he was nervous about something. She figured, and she would later learn she was right, Ryan was going to the doctors. Pat would have gone with him for support but she figured it was hard enough for him to admit something was wrong.


	5. Chip’s Infamous Phone Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Introduction to Chip’s marital problems and how Ryan was able to help him, which led to Ryan able to help himself.

Present:

Ryan was diagnosis with Adjustment Disorder, occurring when a person has great difficulty coping or adjusting to a particular source of stress, such as a change, loss, or event. When Ryan discussed his recent diagnosis with Colin, he couldn’t understand why Ryan couldn’t pull himself out of his depression by his boot strings.

After a taping of Whose Line some of the cast and crew would go to the local watering hole and have a drink or two and catch up on their lives.

“Normally I would have already been at the bar but there was a few things I wanted to go over with Dan so I stayed behind to talk. I had promised Colin I would be there but unfortunately, promises have to be broken.”

June, 2004:

Ryan was walking back towards his dressing room when he overheard Chip’s phone conversation, hiding before Chip saw him. On the other end of the phone was Chip’s soon-to-be ex-wife Patti.

“Listen you asshole - once the judge hears about your fuckin’ mental issues you can kiss your children goodbye because there’s no way in hell you’ll ever see them again,”

Then the door to Chip’s dressing room slammed shut.

Ryan’s first thought was that Patti was a bitch. He also realized that Chip wasn’t his chipper self when the cameras weren’t rolling. Ryan was concern for Chip and wanted to make sure he was okay before leaving him to go and meet up with Colin and the gang. Ryan also thought if Colin couldn’t or wouldn’t understand then maybe Chip would.

Ryan made sure that the phone call between Chip and Patti was over before knocking gently on the door.

“Chip. It’s Ryan, can I come in?”

Chip, embarrassed, hoped Ryan would leave.

“Chip - buddy - I overheard the phone call from your wife. Talk to me about it.”

Chip opened the door, took a few steps back and inquired what did Ryan want to know. 

“So, what do you want to know? ‘Fraid I’ll do something to embarrass you too or something crazy then you can go tell Colin and Wayne and everyone else?” 

Chip, exasperated, threw his arms in the air.

Ryan noticed how jittery Chip was when he walked in the room and shut the door behind him.

“Chip, relax - whatever you feel safe to tell me stays between you and I; no one else will know. Sometimes just airing out the dirty laundry to someone that won’t judge you can make you feel better - it’s good therapy.”

Ryan could tell that Chip wanted to open up to Ryan but was nervous to. Being the reclusive himself he realized how hard it was to give up a secret about yourself, especially if your not sure how others will perceive you afterwards.

Ryan walked slowly to the couch and sat down. Ryan started explaining his tale.

Chip had been rocking back and forth on his feet suddenly stopped and stared at Ryan. No one, except Jeff, had ever shared something personal with him before. Now Ryan was ready to share a secret about his life that no one knew with Chip. That was unexpected. Maybe he would have the same confidence to share something with Ryan.

“Obviously, I’m not happily married anymore. After Drew Carey ended I was at home up in Washington and I felt more like a guest. Shit, I don’t even really know who Pat is anymore. Not being home much after 20 years of marriage doesn’t help the situation. So we agree to take the rings off and see what’s out there. We both have this false sense that we may get back together, but I don’t want to.”

Chip sat down on the couch next to Ryan - trying so hard to let go of the one secret that either would make or break him.

“I also overheard her say you have a mental illness?”

“Yeah, so fucking what?” 

Chip says, agitated. He gets up from the couch and starts pacing back and forth quickly in front of Ryan, beginning his rant, finally deciding he doesn’t care what Ryan fucking thinks of him.

“So mother-fucking what?” Does that make me such a horrible fucking person that she should be able to take my kids away from me? She fucking cheats, wants out of the marriage, I learned from a neighbor that she has been out all hours of the night leaving my 14 year old in charge of the my two other kids, brought strangers into our home while the kids were there - but yet because my mind is a bit out of whack I shouldn’t have the joy of watching my kids grow up?” 

Chip, who can no longer look at Ryan, sits down at the opposite end of the couch, put his head in his hands and cries. Not knowing what else to do, Ryan slides over, wraps his long arms around him and forces Chip’s head to rest on Ryan’s shoulder while Ryan’s calmly rubs Chip’s back. Ryan realized during the taping that Chip wasn’t his normal jubilee self and did wonder why but he had to focus his energy on the show. Personally, Ryan just thought he was having a bad day but after overhearing Chip’s wife on the phone and Chip’s rant Ryan realized this shit had been going on for awhile. It was a miracle he could do his job today.

As Ryan rubs Chip’s back, he realizes Chip is crying so hard he’s going to hyperventilate.

“Take a deep breath, Chip” 

Ryan repeats in his ear a few times. Eventually Chip calms down. Ryan then quietly answers his question.

“It’s not fair at all.”

A few minutes Chip calmed down and pulled out of Ryan’s embrace.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to get so emotional on ya. Didn’t mean to drag you into my problems.”

“It’s okay really. I can relate. I have depression, too.”

“You? You seem so even kiel. I would have never guessed, honestly.”

“If I’m working I feel pretty good. It’s when I’m at home that all the doubt appears. What’s up with you?”

“I’m a bit worse, I’m bi-polar.”

“Meds work for you?”

“On most days they do help. I have had a few manic episodes where I couldn’t get out of feeling super high or super low, especially when I was first diagnosis, but now I have a routine that I follow when I feel like I’m going into a manic mode. It may not help all the time but it has cut of few of them off before they grew into something that I couldn’t control. Once the bitch realized that I was bi-polar she didn’t want to be there to support me anymore. Guess I embarrassed her one too many times in my manic moments. I wonder though if she has mental issues too.”

“Probably everyone has some type of mental issues going on; it’s just for some we needs meds to control it. Welcome to the club, unh?”

“Yeah.”

There was a quite lull for a few moments. Suddenly, Ryan’s cell phone buzzed.

“You, Mr. I Hate Technology have a cell phone?”

“Very funny. It’s not one of those fancy phones, just something in case I need to be reached.”

Moment later Ryan explains it’s a text from Colin.

“It’s from Colin wondering where I’m at. They’re at the bar; honestly I don’t want to go and deal with all the commotion. You want to go and get a bite to eat? We can talk some more about the bitch or whatever you want.”

“I would like that. Now that I’m on these medications I shouldn’t be drinking. I haven’t had a drink since I started them and tonight is not the night I want to find out what happens when you do.”

“Same here - why try to fight that temptation when you don’t need to put yourself in that room?”

Ryan texted Colin that he wasn’t going to go.

Told Colin that he had business to take care of that was going to keep him busy for awhile. Colin was mad. Colin then realized that Chip was there either and assumed that they were together. It made Colin angry and jealous, especially towards Chip. Folks, this is going to get real messy.


	6. Jealously

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chip has a minor manic episode and as a last resort he calls Ryan to help him through it.

Ryan enjoyed Chip’s company much to his surprise, feeling that he had more in common with Chip then ever with Colin. All Colin wanted to do was watch old movies or go hang out in a bar. Hanging out with Chip and Jeff made feel Ryan young again and happier than he had been in years. For Chip, it allowed him to talk to someone besides Jeff about his problems without being judged for it.

Their budding friendship would be tested later that week. 

It was early Thursday morning, around 2:00 a.m. when Ryan would receive a phone call. It was Chip. He was still in town because he was scheduled to finish his taping this weekend.

Ryan’s hotel phone rings. 

“Hello.”

“Ryan.” 

Chip was crying on the phone.

Ryan felt the Chip was on the verge of a panic attack and quickly became coherent.

“Deep breaths bub; what’s wrong?” 

All Ryan could here was crying and nose sniffling on the other end. 

When Ryan didn’t hear anything for a few moments he tried getting Chip’s attention again.

“Chip.”

“What?”

Chip asked, crying. His main focus was trying very hard not to lose his sense of reality.

“I’m coming down to your room right now, go and open the door for me.” 

Ryan heard Chip drop the phone receiver on the end table and then hearing Chip unlocking the door to his room. Ryan proceeded to get a t-shirt and sleeping shorts on, grabbed his room key, and proceeded to Chip’s room. Ryan was nervous about entering Chip’s room. He didn’t want to say or do the wrong thing. Unlike Colin. It didn’t matter if Ryan had the situation under control, Colin always needed to feel like he was the “lifesaver” in a situation and always told Ryan that he was wrong. He didn’t want to do that to Chip.

Ryan took a deep breath to calm his nerves and knocked. 

“Chip, I’m coming in buddy.” 

Ryan quietly spoke as he entered Chip’s hotel room, locking the door behind him. Ryan surveyed the room. The only light on was the lamp near the bed but it lighted up the entire room. Chip’s eyes were bloodshot red, obviously been crying for sometime. Chip was in a crouch position on the bed, rocking back and forth. The blankets and pillows had been tossed around the bed. Ryan got about halfway between the door and the bed when he stopped. Ryan waited for Chip to acknowledge him.

“I miss Jeff. He would understand all of this.”

Chip quietly spoke. Ryan could barley hear him. During their talk after the taping last weekend, Chip explained how grateful he was for Jeff for his help. Ryan learned that Jeff was Chip’s only friend and knew the sacrifice that Jeff had made to stay friends with him. Chip understood that being bi-polar made it difficult to be friends with but it didn’t mean it hurt any less. Ryan told him that he would be there for him too. There was nothing that Chip would do that would scare him. Ryan now understood when one was on the show, the other was waiting backstage.

“Where is Jeff?” 

Ryan asked even though he knew Jeff was in England. He wanted to get Chip to calm down and focus. Ryan sat on the edge of bed and faced Chip. He kept his hands to himself even though he just wanted to hold Chip.

“England.”

“What’s he doing?”

Chip got out of his crouch position and laid on his side on the bed. Ryan followed and laid on his side so he could face Chip.  
“I’m not sure but some type of acting gig. I told him to go - I thought I would be alright for a week. I’m sorry Ryan, I just need someone. I’m so scared right now, I’m having a hard time dealing with this.”

“What’s this, Chip; what’s going on in that head of yours?”

“Too much. I’m trying to get my mind to relax and it’s not working. I feel mad at one moment then I’m in tears and it won’t stop volleying back and forth. I’m so tired I just want it to stop so I can feel a sense of peace.”

“Something happen that has put you in this quandary?”

“Yeah, but I don’t want you to get upset over it?”

“Why would I get upset over it?”

“Because you would probably say that I took it the wrong way or I should just ignore it. But I can’t. Right now anything that is said to me I take it literally. I know that it’s probably nothing that I should get upset over but I am. If I tell you then it could escalate and I don’t want that to happen. No one wants me anymore because they just can’t stand me. I get it, I’m different but it still hurts to have no one but you and Jeff.”

Ryan was taken aback by his revelation. Granted he has more profound bad days then a “normal” person but really everyone but Jeff has left him because of his bi-polar shit?

“Chip, who said something to you?”

“No, because I don’t want you to lose you as a friend, too.” 

Ryan saw the tears escaping before Chip turned away from Ryan and laid on his stomach. Ryan walked over to the side of the bed that Chip was facing, crouch down so he was face to face with Chip.

“Chip, I know who bugged you because they’re mad at me. Maybe he’s mad at you as well, but you need to ignore him. You’re more my friend then he’ll ever be and don’t forget it.”

The only thing Ryan could do was verbally reassured Chip until he believed that nothing that Chip did could break their friendship.

“Will you tell me what he said?”

“No.” 

Chip spat out.

“Okay.” 

Ryan calmly told Chip. Ryan slowly put his hand on Chip’s back just let sit there. Something that let Chip know he was there but nothing that would scare him. 

“What do you want to do? What do you want to do to feel better?”

“Honestly Ryan I just want to sleep. I’m so fucking tired - been tossing and turning all night because of his stupid comment.”

“He said this to you last night? Why didn’t you get me earlier, Chip? I could have save you some grief. I’m not scared of how you act, okay? I know you’re going to have some moments, like now, that it just seems overwhelming to you and you go from one emotional extreme to another but I’ll be here for you. I’m not going to leave you.”

“Everyone else did.”

“Have I ever been everyone else?”

“No.”

“So see?”

“You promise? Because right now I could use a friend. I hate to even ask this because I’m not sure how you’ll take it and I’m so scared I’m going to drive you away with something stupid that I say during one of my crazy moments.”

“Chip, tell me, what do you need?”

“Can you just hold me? I know it sounds a bit personal but just to have the illusion to be loved would be nice. Once I’m asleep you can leave and do whatever you have to do but....”

“Chip, it’s okay. If you want me to hold you I will. No problem, bub.” 

With that Ryan walked around the bed, got in and held Chip. It didn’t take long until Chip was asleep. Fatigue had won the battle this time but Ryan would ask Chip where his medication was and what each pill did so when he had a manic episode he knew what to do. Once Ryan was assured that Chip would stay asleep, he let go of his hold, got up and found one of the blankets that was on the floor. As Ryan was picking up the blanket he thought that he could get use to helping Chip through his manic episodes if he let him. I’m sure in time there would be worse episodes but Ryan thrived on being the strong hand of the relationship. The one everyone counted on when needed. He didn’t have that with Pat anymore and obviously Colin wanted to be the stronger hand in their friendship, but with Chip and maybe even Jeff he could be in that role.

Finding a blanket, Ryan gently placed it over Chip and turned it down to get himself under it. He then reached for Chip, noticing that even in the deep sleep Chip was in was trying to mold himself into Ryan’s body. Ryan whispered to Chip that he was right here with him and to just rest which seemed to calm Chip down. One last fleeting thought before sleep claimed Ryan was he was going to call Jeff. Chip needed his buddy and Ryan needed answers and help to understand what was going on.


	7. Dan and Ryan's Meeting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ryan and Dan have a meeting. This chapter provides insight about Ryan’s feelings.

The sun was above the horizon when Ryan awoke. Ryan didn’t think either him or Chip moved through the night. Ryan was thankful that Chip didn’t wake when Ryan broke his hold. The clock read 7:30 a.m. and Ryan had scheduled a meeting with Dan and Drew at Raleigh Studios at 11:00 a.m. The only problem is that Ryan was keen on leaving Chip alone after last night episode and also did not want Drew to know about Chip’s or even his personal issues. Ryan decided to call Dan and inquire if he could meet with him alone in Ryan’s hotel room. Ryan carefully got out of bed in hopes of not disturbing Chip. As he was getting out, Ryan pulled the blanket around Chip’s shoulders whispered in Chip’s ear, “Love ya, bub”. 

Before leaving Chip’s room, he wrote him a note:

Chip,  
I went back to my room and left you to rest.  
I have a meeting with Dan at 11:00 at the studio but I’ll see if he’ll meet in my hotel room instead.  
I took your room key so I could get back in.  
Need anything, call.  
Ryan.

Once Ryan returned to his own room he ordered room service and while waiting for the order to arrive he took a shower. One of the many perks of this hotel was room service. Yeah, they had a free breakfast buffet but being on two hit television shows and being a head taller then everyone else brings unnecessary attention to one’s self. Something that Ryan hated. Once breakfast arrived, Ryan gave Dan a call.

“Hello, Ryan! What’s up?”

Dan answered his phone in a way too chipper voice for Ryan’s liking.

“Hey, is it possible to have the meeting at my hotel room instead?”

Ryan quietly spoke.

“Sure. Why the change?”

“I’ve got a friend that I need to keep an eye on today. He had a bad night and I just don’t feel comfortable leaving him alone.”

Ryan didn’t think Dan was stupid not to know who but it was worth a shot.

“Chip?”

“How did you know?”

“At I had left for the bar after we had our meeting. I was near Colin when I heard his phone jingled. I saw the upset reaction on his face and I assumed it was you saying you weren’t coming. He looked around the room trying to figure out who else wasn’t there and realized Chip wasn’t. He asked Wayne where Chip was at and Wayne stated that Chip wasn’t coming. I could read the jealously on Colin’s face, Ryan. I also know why Chip didn’t show up and assuming it’s for the same reason why you didn’t either.”

“Yeah. Medications that were on. I’ll leave it at that. Dan, I need to talk to you alone, without Drew. Colin is one reason why. I’m pissed off at him right now. I don’t care to express that to Drew, at least yet. I just want to have a meeting where I can talk to you freely.”

“Wait, what happened?”

“Chip called me this morning around two, emotionally strung out. He said he had a conversation earlier that night with someone that led to him having a minor manic episode. Chip wouldn’t tell me who it was but I can’t fathom who else would be jealous of Chip being friends with me. Chip wouldn’t tell me because he was afraid I would be upset with him. I’m sorry Dan, but I don’t have that buddy to buddy feel with Colin. Shit, I’ve spent a few days with Chip and feel closer to him than I have ever with Colin. I’ve tried talking to Colin about my problems and he blows me off like how dare I have any, but Chip understands and can relate.”

“I’ve noticed that about Colin. He can’t understand or he won’t accept that people, no matter how much money they don’t or do have, are depressed. He can be charming and nice to you but if you have a problem his basic philosophy is “Suck it up, Buttercup!””

“You know his wife, or I should say soon-to-be ex-wife wants full custody of their kids because of his mental state.”

Dan stopped him right there because he wasn’t aware of Chip having any marital issues. Although it made sense why Chip was with Jeff all the time. It also answered the question why Chip wasn’t his bouncy self either.

“Wait, Ryan. Although now that I think about it, he and Jeff are always together. No wonder Jeff was a nervous wreck about going to England. It’s not like Jeff could be at Chip’s side in a matter of minutes if needed. I didn’t know about the marital problems either with him and Patti. I knew about him being bi-polar and the signs to watch out for if he started going off the deep end, that’s why Jeff always waited in his dressing room in case something happened but wow I didn’t know about Chip’s marriage.”

Readers, Dan did know about how shitty Chip’s marriage was. He just wanted hear what Ryan had to say about it.

“All Chip wants is to be included with the guys. We are all guilty of making him feel like an outsider because he’s always been extremely cheerful and also polite and pleasant to everyone. Dan, honestly, I’m glad I can be there for him now. I know, me, who usually thinks of himself and his problems, but it’s like therapy for me as well. I feel needed. I like the feeling and I’m glad I can help. But I do hope Jeff is home soon so him and I can talk to him about Chip so I can understand what triggers he has and what to do if manic episode happens. And for no other reason, Chip needs his buddy.”

“Obviously we need to talk alone and without a certain somebody. I call Drew and let him know I had something come up and had to cancel. I’m not technically lying because something did come up. But this way you can vent your feelings about what’s going on.”

“Thanks. Right now I just don’t feel comfortable being away from Chip. I’ll meet you at the lobby at 11:00.”

“Sounds like a plan. Bye.” 

Dan and Ryan hang up there respective phones. Ryan went back to Chip’s room. He had hoped that he was still sleeping and he was. Ryan added to the note to call him when he awoke.

~*~

With the meeting rearranged, Ryan felt he needed to make a phone call to Pat. He looked at his watch and knew that the older kids were in school, he hoped that Pat was at home so he could talk to her about his plans after Whose Line was done recording for the season.

Pat answered the phone knowing it was Ryan.

“Hey, you!”

“Do you have a minute to talk?

“Yeah. Clare still sleeping and the other two are at school.”

“Good. I didn’t want to catch you at a bad time.”

“What’s up?

“Would you mind if I stayed in California for awhile?”

“No problem. What’s up?”

“Remember I told you about Chip and Jeff and I was interested in them?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, Chip’s going through some shit from Patti.”

“What? What’s going on?”

“Chip was working his butt off to try and find a gig that would give him stable hours and pay. Anyways he was gone a lot and Patti took it upon herself to have an affair with various guys. When Chip came home unexpectedly one day, she turned it on him telling him how horrible he was, blah, blah. I’m sure there’s more to it, but he and Jeff have been living together and taking care of each other since.”

“Ryan….”

“Yeah, well that’s not the worse of it. Patti I guess has been making it a habit harassing him about it but I guess the kids are okay. At least physically.”

“Okay. So what’s the worse of it?”

“I think Colin.”

“You’ve told me he can play the jealous card well. Sorry I ever thought you and him were having an affair.”

“Anyways, early this morning, like 2:00, I get a frantic phone call from Chip. Apparently someone, he wont tell me who, but I’m assuming Colin, called him last night and I’m guessing told him to stay away from me. Eventually the need to sleep won out and he called me extremely upset about everything. Pat, I went into his room he's crouched on the bed, sheets and blankets thrown on the floor. He’s been crying, his eyes red, face swollen. He was angry one minute, upset the next and couldn’t stop from going from one extreme to the other. I ended up having to snuggle with him and he finally fell asleep. I woke up about 7:30 and he stayed asleep. I’m hoping he stays asleep until I’m done meeting with Dan. I was suppose to meeting him at the studio but I don’t feel comfortable leaving Chip alone.”

“What the fuck would Colin care?”

“Because he wants my attention, no one else can have it? He seriously has issues. I’m willing to be on the show with him now because Chip was afraid to tell me about who it was because he was afraid I wouldn’t be his friend.”

“Ryan, stay with him and Jeff. I’m sure Jeff could use the help to keep Chip even keel. Even if they’re best friends, sometimes talking to another person that can understand the situation helps tremendously.”

“Thanks. I call you later about what’s going on.”

~*~

Dan arrived at the hotel lobby at 11:00 and followed Ryan to his hotel room. Neither man spoke until they were safely in the hotel room.

“I talked to Drew and just told him I was cancelling the meeting today. Didn’t explain why and didn’t give him a chance to. Just told him we would meet another time, said goodbye and hung up the phone. Ryan, you’re the ring leader of the performers and probably could tell me about any problems that exist Drew on the other hand, is blissfully unaware of the tension between you and Colin and any other problems going on. His appearance would have hindered this meeting. First, what’s going on with you? I thought that once Drew Carey was over you were going to put your ring back on or has something happened?”

“Pat and I are taking a break from our marriage. Dan, remember in Vegas where we all dressed in one communal dressing room?”

“Yeah.”

“Ever since I saw Jeff and Chip in nothing but underwear I started to have strong sexual dreams. It has gotten to the point where I was talking in my sleep and having orgasm in my sleep. Dan, the thought of making love to those guys not only consumed my thoughts during the day, but at night as well. She literally handed me the okay to find someone else or elses.”

“Well, marriage is hard work and it’s hard when you guys have been separated during most of it. At least you guys recognize there’s a problem instead of either one having an affair that you would regret later. I was worried about you, especially last season. You just weren’t your boisterous self, especially after the cameras were off. ”

“I was diagnosis with depression earlier this year. When Drew show was cancelled and with the expectation of living out my years in Washington just threw me for a loop. I felt confined in a place that I really didn’t know anyone, including my own family. The only place that made me happy was where ever I was working at. In January, Pat and I had a good, long talk about how we honestly felt. We both agreed at that time divorce wasn’t quite the answer but we agreed to take off the rings to see what was out there.”

“How are you and Chip getting along?”

“Dan, were getting along really well. It’s nice to be able to talk to someone that actually understands what you’re going through.”

“Now, what about your feelings regarding Chip?”

“What do you mean, Dan?” 

Ryan caught off guard by his question but should had known that Dan was curious.

“Since Las Vegas, I’ve been watching you when you interact with Chip and Jeff. You’re so much happier playing” with those two then anyone else. Brad and Greg have realized it too and are trying their best to help but obviously don’t know the entire story behind the three of you.”

Ryan genuinely smiled for the first time in a long time.

“Chip needs our support Dan. You know he has bi-polar which is basically he can be super down one minute and then super up the next and can’t control going from one extreme to the other during the manic attacks. When he has these manic moments he’s paralyze with fear and can’t really function or so high that he thinks he can fly. Usually the medication helps to keep him on an even keel but I’m sure there will be a time prior to a show that there will be a need for a last minute replacement.”

Dan didn’t entirely pay attention what Ryan was saying. Dan saw the genuine love that Ryan had for Chip on his face. It had been a long time that Dan had seen that from Ryan.

“Are you and Colin going to be able to play nice? Honestly Ryan, I don’t want to put you or Chip in a position that would make you uncomfortable. If you don’t want to work with Colin anymore I need to know. Ryan, I was so surprised to see how angry Colin became when he realized you weren’t coming to the after party and noticed that Chip wasn’t there either. He was already tipping on the scales but he drank more and became angry. He ranted to the group he was speaking with that how dare you pick Chip over him.”

“When I’ve tried to talk to Colin about my illness he kept telling me what the fuck do you have to be depressed about? You have a wife that loves you, three darling children, and more fucking money then 90% of people of this earth.” 

Dan could see how frustrated Ryan had become with Colin by the emotions on his face.

Ryan turned the conversation back to Chip. 

“Colin doesn’t want to come to the conclusion that I needed to work to feel good about myself. With Chip, it’s kinda of a crutch - I’m not working on stage but he helps me stay busy - whether it’s helping through something or just spending time together, it doesn’t matter. One thing though is I need to be on the show with Chip, if nothing else just be the support that he needs on stage. It would be nice if it could be me, Chip and Jeff but I don’t know how well a show like that would do in the ratings. Did you know that Chip’s soon to be ex-wife is trying to convince a judge that he’s not fit to be a father because of his mental illness? It hurts him especially since he has heard that she has gone out all hours of the day and night, leaving their 14 year old daughter in charge. That’s good parenting; isn’t it?”

“Shit.”

“Yeah.”

A few minutes past,   
“I can work with Colin for now. And regarding Chip, no one is to know what’s going on with him. It’s hard enough for him to come to terms with it I don’t need the others to judge him based on his diagnosis. Maybe Colin won’t want to work with Chip but if Colin wants to work with me he’ll have to work with Chip as well.” 

Ryan and Dan continued with their meeting about what they envisioned the show becoming in the next year or so. Ryan mentioned that he and Greg had talked about going on tour. Ryan mentioned that he thought four would be better and Greg thought that it would be a fabulous idea to have Chip and Jeff join them on the road.

“You do know, Ryan if Greg goes, he’s going to want Brad to tag along.”

“What? Why? I thought Brad and Colin did a show together. Yeah, but Greg and Brad are, what do you want to say, attached at the hip.”

Ryan still had a look of confusion on his face.

“Think of it this way, Ryan. You want to fuck Chip and Jeff, right?”

Ryan nodded.

“Well, Greg and Brad already enjoy fucking each other. I’m pretty sure that although their two man show made a large profit, Brad would jump ship in a minute if it meant touring with Greg.”

“When did that happen?”

“Do you remember the kiss they shared on the first night in Las Vegas during Lines where Brad played Greg’s wife?”

“Since then? Shit, guess I was too busy in my own torrid love affair to realize. Wonder if anyone has a suspicion about them?”

“I’ll give them credit for being discreet about it. The only reason I figured out was I went to my office that I had at the MGM and walked in on them. I heard them, so I quietly backed out but did mention that my office was not to be used for that sorta thing ever again. They blushed so hard and promised. Probably wondered how I knew. It took them awhile to be able to look me straight in the eyes without going beet red. I don’t think anyone in the cast knows to this day. I’m waiting for that ticking time bomb to go off. Jen is going to have a shit fit when she finds out.” 

The men laughed. Their laughter was interrupted by the phone ringing.

“Hello,”

“Ryan,”

“Hey Chip, what’s up?” 

Ryan smiled

“Are you done with your meeting yet?” 

“Yeah, just wrapping it up with Dan now. Anything wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong, just need to get out of the hotel for a while.”

“Once I’m done here, I’ll be right over. Did you read my note?”

“Yep, you’ve got the room key. I’m gonna jump in the shower. Oh and by the way, thanks for this morning. I’m sorry I put through that but I needed some help.”

“No problem. I’ll see you soon.” 

The conversation ended and Ryan hung up the phone.

“Ryan, let me ask you something. It’s been a long while since I’ve seen a spark of happiness in your eyes. Suddenly the phone rings, it’s Chip, and your smile is a mile wide. Maybe that’s what you need in a relationship is to be strong one. You know to make you feel needed or wanted. Nothing to be ashamed of - we all have something we want to give in a relationship.”

“With Chip, he helps me just as much as I help him. I can’t wait again to be with him. I have had an attraction to him and Jeff for awhile. If you saw what I have saw backstage during Improv-a-ganza you would have the hots for them too. I’ll admit it I have peeked when I could. It’s just something that’s I’m very attracted to. That’s been part of my problem too with Pat. I haven’t been able to explain to her that I want to jump two of my male co-stars bones and make passionate love to them. When we had let’s separate talk she indicated that she knew that I wasn’t in love with her anymore since I talked in my sleep about making love to Jeff and Chip.” 

“During our time in Las Vegas, I know Jeff admitted checking you out but so did Chip and the two of them would talk and smile, giggle, and get all excited like school girls when they would look at you when you were changing backstage. I think there’s definitely a chance of all of you to hook up. Just need to give it some more time until Chip is ready.”

“I know - patience is key.”

“Ryan, you have my full support and I’m sure you have Pat’s too. I know that she wants you to be happy and cares for you deeply, even if it means the marriage is over. Granted not everyone would be happy if you three were together but nothing makes everyone happy, including a beautiful sunny day. And if need be, we will remove said participants that give you any grief.”

“But you’ve known Colin as long as me.”

“Yes, I have known the two of you for the same amount of time. What makes you different from Colin is that I consider you a good friend, Colin is more of an acquaintance. You and I have worked through thick and thin producing this show. I want you to be happy Ryan and I know in time you will be. Work on getting Chip emotionally stronger and when the time is right the three of you will be happy together. It’s going to take time. Remember, when the divorce proceedings start, Chip is going to need your support more than ever; his emotions are going to be all over the place.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“You’re idea to have Brad, Greg, you, Chip and Jeff together for a tour would be great too. Get on the road, away from life from the stresses of life for awhile.”

“Thanks, Dan.”

The meeting ended and Ryan showed Dan the door.

“Remember, if you need anything or Chip or Jeff, give me a call and I’ll do whatever is needed to help. Even if it’s 3:00 in the morning Ryan, and I’m serious, call me. It also means if there’s problems within this show I can take care of it as well.”

Dan left the room and the hotel.


	8. Background Information

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter provides background information. It’s takes place during Improv-a-ganza, which in this story takes place during the summer before the last season of Drew Carey Show. In other words approximately 18 months earlier than the present of this story. Sorry, this chapter is so long, but my brain kept going into overdrive with more ideas to write for the backstory.
> 
> If it becomes confusing, I apologize, I haven't really proofed this chapter yet but I just wanted to get the revise story up.

Now folks, before we get too far ahead of ourselves, we need to take a step back to the previous summer and so you understand what’s going on….

Dan seems to be the general therapist for the group - the friendly face that everyone can tell their troubles too, he won’t spread the gossip around, and is able to provide useable advice to those that seek it. During Improv-a-ganza Dan would meet with Jeff and Chip either in person or phone on a regular basis to talk too. He could tell that both needed another outlet besides themselves to talk too. There were murmurs in the group about why Chip and Jeff always appeared together in the shows, but it was the same murmurs about Colin and Ryan. They were in love with one another. While Dan knew it was the truth, he would remind everyone that inquired that they requested it because they love to “play off” one another while improving, not because Chip and Jeff were emotionally attached to one another. No one knew how shitty Chip’s personal life was at the time, except for Dan and Jeff.

Dan and Ryan became instant friends when Ryan was chosen to be on Whose Line in London. Ryan was a newlywed who brought Pat over with him the first couple of times he was on but when Ryan arrived alone for the first time, Dan inquired. Pat was pregnant was all Ryan had said. After the first taping of Whose Line, Ryan asked Dan if he wanted to go out for drinks, alone. It was there that Ryan confessed to Ryan that as much as he loved Pat, he loved men. Dan wasn’t expecting Ryan to be bi-sexual. Ryan explained to Dan that he married Pat out of love and necessity in order to be successful in Hollywood, but missed being with men.

Dan would learn during the time in Las Vegas that our three main characters: Chip, Jeff, and Ryan, wanted each other. Dan would have loved for them to get together in Vegas but Dan knew that pushing a relationship on all three of them, a secret one at that, would never thrive, so he listened and offered advice that they could handle at the time. He did hope that in the near future that something would happen. 

 

Year and half earlier….

A couple of months before the gang went to Las Vegas Chip had been working consistently but usually was gone about 25 days out of the month. It wasn’t exactly what Chip wanted but at least the bills were paid.

Chip had never wandered from his wedding vows even though Jeff was a temptation to. One night, after having an impromptu get together with Jeff when they realized they were in the same city, they talked about what it would be like with another man. Nothing else but talk happened but it peaked Chip’s curiosity about being with a man.

In the times that they have seen one another Jeff never mentioned the conversation again and Chip never had the courage to bring it up. Chip surmised that Jeff was free from his inhibitions with the amount of alcohol consumed and that was that. Unfortunately, it led Chip to think about how wonderful it could be. 

What led to Chip’s first manic episode? Patti. Chip worked his butt off on a gig so he could go home early and spend time with Patti. When Chip arrived home, he called for her. When he walked into their bedroom he was surprised by Patti and a son of a bitch fucking each other in their bed. Let’s just say a lot of screaming, finger pointing, blame game happen by Patti. But the worse of it all was her telling Chip that he was a no good father that never made time for his children. Chip, who was already on the verge of an emotional breakdown had two choices (1) was kill Patti and whatever guy she was fucking at the moment or (2) call Jeff. Fortunately he called Jeff.

Although he was on a set there was two lucky breaks: Jeff was playing on his phone when Chip called and he was in Los Angeles. Jeff knew that Chip had been under a lot of pressure but the tone of his voice scared Jeff. Jeff couldn’t even understand what Chip was saying but he knew that Chip wasn’t in a good spot.

“Chip, Chip….”

Jeff repeated until he got Chip’s attention

“Yeah.”

“Can you drive to my place? I’m leaving right now and I’ll be there in five, okay.”

“Okay.”

Jeff knew that he had to get home and told the director he was leaving. The director threaten that he would sue Jeff but Jeff didn’t care. He knew he had to get home to Chip. Nothing else mattered more to Jeff then Chip.

“Look buddy, I don’t fucking care what you threaten me with or even say right now. My best friend in the world needs me right now. He just called me on the phone crying his eyes out because he just caught his wife screwing some man and making accusations about how horrible of a person he is. He’s more important than some fucking job. If you need me, call me tomorrow.”

Jeff said his piece and left.

Jeff got to his Condo before Chip and waited in his driveway for him to arrive. When Chip arrived Jeff could see Chip trying to drive and tears were just falling from his eyes.

Once parked, Chip quickly got out of his car, Jeff opened his arms, and Chip fell into them.

“Come on, let’s go inside.”

Jeff said that after a few moments.

Once inside, Jeff shut and locked the door, pulling Chip to the couch and onto his lap. Chip didn’t seem to mind at the moment. He was bear hugging Jeff tightly. Chip tried to talk a few times, but Jeff wouldn’t let him.

“Chip, just cry it out right now. When you’ve calm down, you can tell me everything. Right now, you’re too upset.”

Chip eventually cried himself asleep. Once assured he was sound asleep, Jeff maneuvered himself out from under Chip then went to his bedroom turned down his bed. Jeff returned to Chip took off his shoes, turned off Chip’s cell phone and carried him to the bed. Once Chip was settled, Jeff put on a old t-shirt and shorts and got into bed as well. Chip, in his sleep, snuggled into his Jeff. Jeff planted a kiss on top of Chip’s head and put his arms around Chip and gave him a brief squeeze.

“You just rest for now Chip. Everything will be okay.”

Later, Chip would explain what happened when he went home early from the shoot to find his wife in bed with another man. She called him every name in the book and then some. Called him a horrible husband and father and all around horrible person. Chip would go from being angry to crying and every emotion in between. Eventually Jeff convinced Chip to file for divorce and don’t look back.

As time went on, Patti kept nit picking at everything Chip did and wouldn’t let Chip see his kids. Their oldest daughter was 13 at the time and knew what their mom was doing to their dad but she felt threaten if she didn’t cooperate with her mom. Their daughter was afraid that if she didn’t collaborate with mom, then what ever man of the week her mother had would come after her or worse her younger sister. She only hoped her dad would get his act together and the three of them could live with him.

 

When Patti would call Chip, it would send him into a tizy. Thankfully Jeff refused to leave his side and would be able to calm him. But still, Chip felt out of control. His doctor would diagnosis him with bi-polar and gave him recommendations in order to try and control it.

 

The following week, Dan scheduled a meeting with everyone to figure out the casting and improv games for each show. Jeff and Chip were able to talk to Dan prior to that meeting.

“Dan, thanks for meeting with us. Chip and I wanted to talk to you prior to having the meeting tomorrow.”

“No problem. What’s on your mind fellas?”

“Chip and I have to be on the same episodes together.”

“Okay.”

Dan listened to Jeff but also noted that Chip was becoming agitated, feet bouncing up and down quickly. Jeff, without missing a beat in his conversation wth Dan, calmly put his hand on Chip’s knee, which Dan could tell made Chip relax.

“Chip, do you want to explain?”

Jeff offered the opportunity to explain but Jeff knew he was in for a losing battle. Jeff could see the agitation in Chip’s face when he nodded no to him about explaining it. He let go of Chip who promptly put his feet up on the chair he was sitting in and curled into a tight ball. Dan was actually amazed that Chip was able to keep that position.

“Alright, Dan. Please don’t interrupt because I probably only have a few minutes to explain. Chip has bi-polar and we need to be together because if something happens on stage I’m the only one that knows that he has it and can handle him when he has a full blown attack.”

Suddenly, Chip got up from his seat and started to pace the office.

“Jeff, no problem. We’ll workout whose on what tomorrow at the meeting. Is he going to be able to handle it?”

“Yeah. I’m taking his phone away from him. I will give you call later tonight and explaining everything. Right now he’s trying to head off a manic episode and to do that he likes to be by the beach.”

“Okay. When you get a few moments call, if not I’ll see you tomorrow”

Once Chip was free from the confines of the office he felt better. That’s when Jeff first took him to Dockweiler Beach and just meditated, breathing in the ocean air. It just seemed to help calm him and the need to take any medication went away.

 

Later on that evening, once Chip was sleeping, Jeff called Dan.

“Dan, thanks for taking the call and sorry about earlier in the day with Chip.”

“No need to apologize. I don’t even know how to say this without being a total ass, but what’s been going on with Chip that suddenly made him want to bolt from my office this afternoon?”

“Chip has bi-polar. It’s been a long time coming but the stress of him working various and almost any gigs in hope to get steady work has been taking a toll on him and the family. The wife thought that since Chip wasn’t home that it was okay to go and cheat on him. Then she turned it and blamed him for everything. Dan, Chip has been working his butt off by going to auditions, trying to appear as guest star on shows so others would see him in order to get steady work so he could be home more. Unfortunately it blew up in his face.

Anyways, he comes home early to surprise Patti and finds her in bed with another man. Well, that was the over the top trigger for everything. He’s been practically by my side ever since and that was about seven weeks ago. His doctor put him on bi-polar medication in hope to keep his emotions in line and so far it has helped but still episodes will and have occured. What you saw today was his reaction after his wife called to tell him again how horrible he is and that he’ll never see his kids, and blah, blah, blah.

“Has Chip filed for divorce?”

“We’re working on that. He wants to get his own place but shit, Dan he can’t even be alone for 30 minutes before his emotions get the best of him. But at least he’s trying.”

“Well, you’ll have no argument with me keeping you two together.”

“Thanks, Dan. I appreciate it.” 

“Is there anything I can help you with? You sound stressed.”

“No. I just have a lot on my mind.”

“Can I ask you a personal question, Jeff?”

“Sure.”

“I know you’re bi-sexual because you’ve told me. Are you hoping for a chance with Chip? I know, right now you need to focus on his well being but Jeff I’ve watched your body language….

“You’ve noticed, unh? I don’t know if that will happen but maybe I have a chance.”

“Don’t give up on love Jeff. Just give him the time to grieve and get over her betrayal. Be there for him because he’s going to be guarded about the next person he loves, if he falls in love at all.”

“Thanks. I appreciate the words of advice. I know, he's very vulnerable and I don’t want to take advantage of that. I just want him to know I love him for him no matter what his faults are.”

“Just be patience with him. I’m sure he’ll come around. Just remember it’s going to take some time.”

The phone call conversation ended

~*~

It seemed like everyone was braver in Vegas but only Greg and Brad took it to the next level. For them, it was a stage kiss that became something more. No one, including the clever fan fiction writers, would assume that Brad and Greg had it going on. While in Vegas, Brad and Greg kept it to themselves, with the exception of Dan but that totally unavoidable. It wouldn’t be until the five of them were on the road that Chip, Ryan and Jeff would know about it. Well Greg did have to explain why he insisted that Brad go with them since Brad toured with Colin

Speaking of Chip, he had suspicions about Greg and Brad leading from that stage kiss at the Improv-a-ganza show to how they were acting at the first show after party. He figured if they could find love and be discreet about it, maybe he should just come right and ask Jeff. Obviously, he wouldn’t ask it in front of his co-workers but maybe when they went back to their hotel room. Shit, they already slept together, Jeff was sexy as hell to Chip, and since his wife screwed him over, why not screw her over.

“Remember Chip, not at the expense of your only friend.”  
Chip reminded himself.

So as the night carried on there was discussion of gay love. Why not? Chip, he surmised, was the only sober member of the group. He didn’t want to find out right now what happened when you mixed alcohol with the medication he was taking. Probably wasn’t pretty.

“If you had to pick the straightest guy on this tour, who would you guess?”

Drew asked, bringing Chip out of reverie.

Various people, including Jeff, chose Chip - he was happily married with kids. 

“Well I can’t obviously choose me, so I choose Drew.”

The gang laughed. 

“I would say I’m pretty straight, although there are some beautiful men out there.”

Ryan wrinkled his nose. Not that he really thought that was gross but his persona that he had with these men and the public in general forced him to disagree.

Eventually the night ended and everyone returned to their rooms.

Chip figured this would be a good time to ask Jeff, who was sufficiently inebriated. When drunk, Jeff was honest. Sometimes, way too honest.

“Jeff, have you had feelings for a guy?”

“Why do you ask?”

“Just was curious about it. If that question about who was the straightest was asked a couple months ago I wouldn’t have disagreed. Now, maybe I should be open for love from anyone.”

Jeff wished he could just admit his feelings to Chip but was afraid that either Chip didn’t feel that way about him or if he admitted it, Chip would freak out and not want to be his friend anymore. Right now, Chip needed Jeff, just as much as Jeff needed Chip, two peas in a pod that were very co-dependent on one another. Jeff believed it was better to have Chip in his life as a friend then not having him at all. So if the meant that Jeff would never find a lover, so be it. He couldn’t see anyone else in that role except for Chip.

“Yes, I have Chip. You know that I’m bi-sexual.”

“I know, but have you ever been really, really, truly serious about a man?”

“Only one.”

“Who?”

Jeff was out for the night.

“Jeff?”

Chip turned around and looked on the bed and he couldn’t believe it but Jeff had past out. Snores and everything.

Chip was convinced he had his answer and it put a smile on his face. Little did Chip know that he would be the one forcing the question to be answered. We’ll visit that in a future chapter.

~*~

Early on during Improv-a-ganza Jeff kept noticing Ryan looking at him and Chip backstage. Jeff had always admired Ryan, but it was his understanding that Ryan was heterosexual and cringed at even the thought of playing anything but the straight male. He was too curious but he had a wonderful friendship with Ryan so he went to the one person that knew everything - Dan.

Jeff knocked on Dan’s office door.

“Dan, do you have a minute?”

“Come on in, Jeff. Anything wrong with Chip?”

“No, nothing about that. It’s more about me and Ryan.”

“Oh. Come on in, make yourself comfortable.”

Dan had known about Ryan’s interest in Jeff and Chip. Ryan told Dan that he had found both Jeff and Chip attractive a long time ago. That’s why they were part of the rotating fourth chairs because of Ryan’s influence. Greg and Brad intrigued Ryan and that’s why they were part of the fourth chairs as well. The reason why there was a lack of women because the lack of chemistry. Ryan did try and work with the women they had hired as fourth chairs but shows fell flat because the women tried way too hard to impress Ryan. Josie Lawrence was the only woman that Ryan like to work with but she did Whose Line in America once and just couldn’t deal with how censored it was.

“Dan, I don’t know who else to talk to about this. I’m not sure if I’m reading the signals right or what but I always have a feeling that Ryan is watch me and even Chip….”

Now Dan was ready to interrupt him and say no, you’re not imagining things. Just to let him know that Ryan was interested. Dan hated to break up a marriage but he could see the sadness in Ryan’s eyes. Shit, even Pat had called him prior to Las Vegas and wondered if Ryan was having an affair. Dan assured her no and with that was satisfied and ended the conversation. While there were many more telephone calls to assure herself that he wasn’t having an affair, eventually the one just as the production ended for Drew Carey would open Pat’s eyes to realize that Ryan sexual tendencies was more on the gay side then even bi-sexual.

“Jeff, what I’m going to tell you has to be kept for now between us. You can’t even tell Chip, but I feel that if I don’t tell you then you’re not going to understand what’s going on with Ryan.”

“What? Don’t tell me the man I thought was the straightest of the straight is bi-sexual?”

“No. I would call it straight-out gay.”

“So you’re telling me that Ryan, who’s married to Pat and has three kids, is gay?”

“I’ve known Ryan for a long time Jeff. We met just after he married Pat and while he did love her, he married her because in order to be successful in Hollywood, one musn’t be gay.”

“So, should I flirt back?”

“I would. Maybe it would get his stick out of his butt and he’ll leave Pat.”

“Oh, shit. Now I have two people I love and can’t have either of them.”

“Jeff, you will buddy. You just have to slow down and let it progress naturally. Work on Chip first and then Ryan. Just be careful when doing it because no one knows except me that Ryan likes men. I mean no one and he doesn’t want anyone to know. That’s why he’s always the man in the scene.”

“But why did he act the way he did with Richard Simmons?”

“Because Ryan’s personality. Ryan wants someone who is romantic, sensuous, make slow love making, not wham, bam, thank you ma’am. He also finds Chip very attractive because he likes the idea that he can rope Chip in to what he wants. How do you think you two got in as 4th chairs - because Ryan found you two attractive. You’re the only two that he’s ever seen in that sense. It’s not that you’re just only funny but you work well with him.” 

~*~

Dan, Drew, Chip, Jeff, Ryan, Greg, Brad tended to always get together after a show. There was that vibe that no one else was really allowed in their group and people tended to be okay with that. Chip never drank and always watched the others. He became more sure that Brad and Greg had something going on then just being close friends. One reason is that they always sat next to each other and one time Chip reached down to pick something up off the floor he saw their hands touching one another. Friends wouldn’t do that. They would have their hands up, on the table. Chip didn’t get caught looking since everyone else was too far gone in the conversation. Chip just smiled to himself. 

Chip loved to watch Ryan and Jeff try to flirt with one another during these after parties. After the show, the guys would strip out of their working clothes and shower. Ryan wouldn’t wear an undershirt and always a button down shirt with the first button or two undone. Jeff would wear a suit, but the tie would hang loose and the first few buttons would also be unbutton. And never an undershirt as well. They would flirt but try and not have the other one notice. By the time they were on their fourth or fifth, it was becoming more obvious to the other person and maybe to the whole table. But who knows what point of inebriation they were at. If they knew, no one said a damn word about it. This group had earned their trust and anything that had been said would never be repeated.

~*~

Near the end of the Vegas run Dan was surprised to see Chip knocking on his door. This is the man who said little to anyone but probably Jeff wanted to talk to him?

“Hey, Chip. Come on in. What can I do for you?”

Dan kept his tone light. Chip seemed happy, he was smiling.

“I know Jeff talked to you earlier about my situation. I just wanted to thank you for all your support and understanding.”

“It was no problem, Chip. Hope life is treating you well.”

“I wish it was better, but I’m working on that.”

“So what did you need to see me for?”

“I have a question for you. Actually I just need someone to listen to me besides Jeff.”

“Sure, have a seat.”

“I’m just going to come out and say it and see what you think.”

“Okay.”

Dan was all ears for this. He knew that both Ryan and Jeff were interested in each other plus Chip so he wonder if the trifecta would happen.

“I don’t know what Jeff has told you regarding my marriage but I think you know that I caught her in bed with another man and it’s been ugly since then. She keeps telling me how horrible of a person, husband, father I am. I’m trying not to take it so personally and not get worked up over it but it’s hard when you wear your emotions on your sleeve.”

“That it is. That’s basically what Jeff has told me. Life can really suck at times.”

“That it can. But I was wondering if Jeff has ever express feelings about me to you? Or Ryan, even. I swear the two of them keep flirting with each other and their game is not to make the other notice. No one does, except for me, which is fine. But I get the feeling that Ryan not only interested in Jeff but me as well. I kinda of find that funny because I never thought he was gay.”

Dan was in shock by the observations that he had made. Granted he was the only sober one since he didn’t drink anymore but he was right on with his observations.

“Chip,….”

“And what about Greg and Brad. They just seem too close as well. Granted they weren’t holding hands but their hands were touching while it was on the seat at the after party and they always sit by each other. Hasn’t anyone else notice?”

“Chip. You seriously know way too much.”

“Part of my charm.”

“Chip, don’t jump into any other relationship until you’re sure that your emotionally stable. I mean that all sincerely. It’s true that Ryan is interested in Jeff and you and Jeff wants you. Jeff will wait until he knows your ready and Ryan needs time to deal with his own issues but I know in the end y’all will get together. Just for now focus on you. Deal with Patti and it’s fallout, get you’re emotions under control, and for heaven sakes get custody of your kids. If she’s bringing men into the house at all hours, your kids aren’t safe.”

“I’ve talked to a neighbor who's gathering evidence for me to present to a judge when the time comes. As soon as this is over I’m filing for divorce and asking for sole custody of the kids. I may not get it but if I need to know I tried. But I’m right about Brad and Greg, aren’t I?”

“Yes. Just don't blab it to everyone. I don’t think they need everyone to know.”

“Hadn’t planned on it. Just wanted to know if I was right or not.”

Chip took Dan’s suggestions to heart. He filed for divorce and sole custody of their kids and prayed every night that everything in the end would be okay. In the end things would turn out fine, fortunately, but it would take two years to get to that point. It would take some intervening on Ryan and Pat who would help Chip and his kids out but everything would thankfully workout in the end.

 

Well, now that we have backtracked and explained the back story we’ll continue the story in the present in the next chapter with Ryan and Chip heading to the beach.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This takes place immediately after Chapter 6 where Ryan and Chip spend the day at Chip’s favorite place: Dockweiler Beach
> 
> BIG AUTHOR’S NOTE: I have never been, nor probably will ever be at Dockweiler State Beach. I don’t even live close to California. I have no idea how this place looks, nor do I really want to know since it would ruin my imagination of how it looked when Chip and Ryan visited.

“Chip?” 

Ryan called out as he entered his hotel room.

“In the bathroom getting dressed, I’ll be out in a minute. Have a seat.”

Ryan plop on the couch, closed his eyes, breathe deeply and thought about what Dan and him had talked about.

A few minutes later Chip called out to Ryan but Ryan didn’t respond. Chip finished getting dressed, walked out of the bathroom, looked at Ryan and realized had dozed off.

“God he’s gorgeous.”

Chip whispered to no one.

Chip let his mind wander back to a year and half ago while everyone was in Vegas during Improv-a-ganza. Chip knew that Dan was right not to get back into a relationship with Jeff and Ryan. His life was way too complicated at then. Even for a quick fuck, it could ruin what he had hoped in the future - him, Jeff and Ryan because at that time no one was ready for the emotional complications that a threesome, let alone a three malesome, would bring. 

But year and a half later things were looking up for Chip. He was learning not to let his emotional side get the best of him nor take everything Patti would say to heart. Chip saw his kids when he could, that’s when Patti would let him see them. His oldest, now 14 kept a journal of everything. He worried about her the most because he was afraid that the man of the week would do something. Chip provided her mace and she always kept it on her in case she needed it. So far, she hadn’t. His daughter understood that he wasn’t emotionally stable to take her and her siblings yet, but he’d hoped soon.

Chip took a moment to admire Ryan’s beauty. He remembered all the times that he saw Ryan in less clothing. Granted he hadn’t seen the entire package yet he was sure that it wouldn’t be a disappointment. He had hoped sooner, than later that he would be able to see it all.

 

There was no doubting that if the opportunity presented itself, and Chip had a strong suspicion that it would from the looks that Ryan had given him and Jeff during Improv-A-Ganza, that it would. It would all depend on letting Jeff and Ryan know that he was ready and interested. Chip wondered if Dan told either anything about his curiosity. Maybe, or maybe not. But since Improv-a-ganza, there had been little interaction between the three. Only when they were in the studio together when Jeff or Chip were fourth chairs on Whose Line. Chip knew for this relationship to happen, it would be up to him because both boys would be worry about putting undue stress on him but he wanted to wait when his personal life wasn’t so crazy and he could actually enjoy the moment. A threesome, Chip thought and chuckled a bit out loud at his own thought which woke Ryan up.

“Hey there, sleepyhead. You up for the trip or just want to hang here?”

“No, I’m good. I was just deep in thought. Just have a lot on my mind.” 

Ryan paused for a few seconds, getting up from the couch.

“Are you about ready to go? Any place that you go in particular?”

“Dockweiler State Beach. It’s only 30 minutes from here. I know a place that usually deserted and sit on a picnic table and watch the waves crash on the beach. When I’m jittery like this it helps calms the nerves.” 

“Cool, you ready to go?”

“Yep.”  
“Here’s your key back.”

“Thanks.” 

Chip grabbed his sunglasses and the boys left for the beach

~*~

Chip led Ryan to his favorite spot at Dockeweiler. There was a gigantic tree that provided a large shady, grassy area with a picnic table in the middle of it. The lack of sand made it a perfect spot for someone who wanted the tranquility of the waves crashing on the shore in order to think. When Ryan looked at it for the first time he could understand why Chip would find this spot relaxing. Shit, he would find this relaxing as well. Ryan watched Chip when they arrived smile the smile that Ryan knew him by. Ryan would characterize him as a big, happy, kid and could see the immediate release of tension that Chip had. For a bit, Ryan and Chip sat on the table content to listening the waves crashing into the rocky barrier.

Ryan could tell something was on Chip’s mind. Ryan let him set the pace of the conversation.

“What happens after Whose Line is over for you?”

“What do you mean?”

Chip was nervous even to bring up about the future. He loved Jeff but he also needed Ryan close by as well. Two people were always better than one. Chip looked straight ahead, to the crashing waves, instead of looking at Ryan when he asked about Ryan’s future plans.

“I mean after you’re done with recording this season? You’re going back to Washington?”

“Chip, look at me.”

Nervous, Chip did.

“I’m not in any rush to get back to Washington, Chip.”

Chip wanted to say something but Ryan stopped him.

“Now wait, before you say anything listen to what I have to say. This past week I would say you and I have become good friends, not just work acquaintances. As much as I would like to say that about Colin I can’t. I haven’t thought of him as a friend in a long while. I have enjoyed myself so much more with you then with Colin in the last ten years at least, if not longer. When I’m with Colin, he wants to be able to solve my problems his way and I should just follow his advice. Thats not a friend, Chip. That’s a person who doesn’t want to hear about it. There’s no common ground between us anymore.

“Now to answer your question, I’m not ready to leave you or Jeff right now. I’ve already talked to Pat about it and she's cool with it. So for now, you’re stuck with me. I especially don’t want to leave you based on the crappy week you have had so far with your wife and I’m assuming Colin. It’s not like I don’t trust you, but I want to make sure that if something happens you have me to help you get through the rough patches.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes, Chip I do. Now stop worrying about that.” 

Ryan could see the weight being lifted right off his shoulders.

“Thanks.”

They decided to leave the beach around 5 or so, grab Chinese carry-out; eating it while back at the hotel watching ESPN. Although they didn’t physically do much, they were both emotionally spent. By 7:30 p.m. they were on Ryan’s bed sleeping.


	10. Infamous Saturday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s another taping day of Whose Line with Chip as the fourth chair. We also learn about Colin’s true feeling and Ryan begins to realize that he needs help with Chip.

Saturday meant another Whose Line taping for Chip, Ryan, Colin and Wayne. Everything was going normally as usual until Dan needed Ryan for a few minutes just prior to taping began. Chip told Ryan he would be okay and he thought he would be. The exception to every rule in this case happened. Unfortunately Chip and Colin never really click. Coin seized the opportunity to get Chip alone and tell him that Ryan didn’t like him; that he was pitying him and Chip should just leave him alone. 

Chip was always a bit too much emotional for Colin’s liking but no one ever believed that Colin would hurt Chip as emotionally as he did this day. Chip would later admit to Ryan, one rainy afternoon years later when Ryan had him in his arms holding him, calming him from another depressed manic episode, Chip would suddenly talk about this Saturday, that he was scared for his life. All Chip would remember would be Colin telling him that God would never love him since he was a fag and how dare he steal Ryan away from him. Ryan would tell him over the years again that God did love him and even Colin but sometimes people were misguided. 

Ryan returned to the dressing room area just as Colin was coming out of Chip’s. Ryan’s heart sank, knowing that 20 years plus friendship gone.

“Your fag boy is in there. How disgusting. I told him off for you, Ryan.”

Colin left to go on stage like nothing happened.

Ryan would always wonder what made Colin so jealous of Chip but if he ever had to talk to Colin again he may punch the lights out of the guy. Chip, God Bless his soul, never once said anything back in return. Chip also made Ryan never say anything of the incident because he didn’t want Ryan to stoop down to Colin’s level.

Ryan quietly entered Chip’s dressing room to find that Chip was once again in that crouching position that he likes to get into when he’s scared, rocking back and forth. Ryan saw the tears rolling down Chip’s face and wanted to comfort him. Ryan got his 6 and a half foot frame crunched down to Chip’s level and calmly talked to him.

“Chip? What did Colin say to you?” 

Unfortunately Chip did not respond to Ryan’s question. What ever Colin said and did had scared Chip so much that he had hid himself away from reality to protect himself.

Ryan began cursing and pleading Chip to get him to come back to reality.

“Shit! Where did you go Chip? It’s okay now, I’m here. I’m so sorry I left you. I didn’t think Colin could hurt you so much with words. Come on buddy, come back to me.” 

The phone rang, agitating Chip, making him rock faster on his feet. Ryan got up to answer it, almost speaking in whisper, so not to agitated Chip more.

“Hello.”

“Ryan?”

“Dan?”

“Yeah, it’s me. Where are you and Chip? You guys are suppose to be on stage.”

“Not going to happen.”

“Shit. I’m coming down. Give me a minute, I have to take the long way so Colin doesn’t suspect something.”

“Be calm when you get here. Chip physically here, but he’s emotionally gone. I’m suspecting hiding from Colin.

 

Dan, as quickly and quietly as he could, got to Chip’s dressing room. When Ryan opened the door, Dan had mixed emotions about what he was witnessing. He felt sick to his stomach about how cruel and jealous Colin was to Chip but he also felt hatred. An emotion that he rarely felt towards anyone but in this case, Colin talking to Chip to the point that it made him emotionally hide, made Dan feel hatred. 

“What the hell happen, Ryan?”

Ryan calmly whispered his response. 

“Colin took the opportunity of you pulling me away to go into Chip’s dressing room and harass him to the point that he has hidden himself away.”

“Shit”

“I need to get Chip out of here. I’m sorry Dan, but I’m never going to perform with Colin again. I’m going to throttle him the next I see him.”

“Give me the keys to your truck and I’ll pull it around. Stay with him and see if you can get him to come back from whatever hell he’s at and I’ll help you get him in the truck.”

Dan continued as Ryan was getting his keys.

“When you get a minute - give me a call and we’ll have a quick phone conversation about what our next steps should be. I’m going to cancel today’s taping - saying that both you and Chip have become ill and we can’t replace two performers on a moment’s notice. I don’t think I can handle Colin either today.”

Dan leaves to get Ryan’s truck. 

Ryan crouches down to Chip’s level, who had stopped rocking. He begins to rub Chip’s back.

“Chip, buddy let’s get out of here.”

“I think I’m going to get sick.” 

Chip looks at Ryan, his eyes red, swollen, and glassy.

Ryan quickly removes his hand from Chip’s back and grabbed a wastebasket that was within an arm’s reach. Chip immediately emptied his stomach contents into it.

Ryan patiently waited for Chip to catch his breath.

“Chip, what do you want? Dan’s bringing my truck around and were gonna get the fuck out of here.”

“Ryan?” 

Chip said breathlessly

“Yeah, bub?”

“Can we go to the ocean again?”

“Sure, buddy. We’ll go back there.”

Ryan watched helplessly as Chip tried to stand straight up but was so overcome with fatigue that he couldn’t.

“Ryan?” 

Chip’s tears started again.

“It’s okay, bub. Let me help you.”

“I’m so tired.”

“I know. It (meaning this manic episode) must have taken a lot out of you.”

Dan had returned and he knocked on Chip’s door. 

“It’s Dan. Come in.”

Ryan said calmly and quietly. 

Ryan watched as Chip tensed up. 

“Chip, it’s okay. You know Dan, he knows everything and he’s worried and loves you too. He’s not scared of you.”

Walking in, Dan wasn’t sure what to do so he spoke to Chip in a calm and quiet voice.

“Hey Chip.”

Ryan could see Chip struggling to stay in the present. Ryan then step to one side of Chip and asked Dan for help.

“Could you give us a hand by being on the other side of Chip?”

“Sure, no problem.”

Slowly but surely the trio made it down the hall to the exit where Ryan’s truck was waiting. By the time Chip was settled in the seat and seatbelt on he was so exhausted that he fell asleep the moment he was situated in the truck.

“Dan, wait a day or two before you call me. I need to just be able to focus on Chip for day or two. Do you know how long Jeff was suppose to be in England for?”

“No, I know he went there but I don’t think it should have been for long.”

“I need his help, he would know more how to handle this since he’s been through it before. It would be nice if he was back in LA.”

“You got his number?”  
“Yeah - I stoled it off of Chip’s cell phone. He really needs his best buddy right now. I’m going to take him to the ocean and hope to find a cheap motel where we’re not known so he can just stay nearby. The smell just relaxes him so much that he needs that. I’m sorry to leave you fucked over like this.”

“No, Ryan. This has nothing to do with you or Chip - it’s all Colin. I’m not going to say anything today because I right now I just want to slam my foot through his face. Worry about Chip right now but let me know how he’s doing and what’s going on. If he’s worry about his job here on the show tell him not be because he’s fine. I know this was not his doing nor is this the Chip I adore and love. Just tell him to relax and take care of himself.” Dan stuck out his hand to shake Ryan’s and told Ryan, “Just take care of your bub,” which seemed to become Chip’s nickname for Ryan.


	11. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff is back from England and just in time as he and Ryan try to calm Chip. Ryan learns a bit about Chip’s and Jeff’s past.

Back at Raleigh Studios....

Dan apologized but told the studio audience that both Chip and Ryan had suddenly become ill and they were unable to perform. Colin was suspicious - he didn’t believe that they had suddenly became ill. Dan informed the crew to pack it up and he would contact them in a few days.

~*~

After shaking Dan’s hand, Ryan got into the driver’s side of the truck and looked over at Chip. His heart sank seeing Chip’s face and the trail of drying tears from his eyes as he was trying to fall into an exhausted sleep.

“Just rest, Chip.” 

Ryan reached across the seat for Chip’s hand and gave it a loving squeeze providing something for Chip to ground himself on.

“First, I’m going to stop at the hotel and grab a few things and then we’ll go to the beach, okay?”

“Okay.”

Chip spoked in a tear stained voice.

“Just try and clear your mind, Chip.”

Ryan whispered.

“I can’t. All I see is Colin trying to hurt me.”

Ryan didn’t know what to tell Chip. He felt guilty that Chip had to endure with Colin’s wrath. 

“What did Colin say to you?”

“I don’t know, Ryan. It was just a big roar to me; his arms were just flaying above his head and he kept getting into my face. I was scared. I just focused on Thursday afternoon when you were with me at the beach and I just focused on that. Sorry, I got lost in the daydream and didn’t realized that you had returned.”

“It’s okay bub, you’re safe now. Try and get some rest.” 

Ryan said and drove to their hotel.

Once they arrived at the hotel Ryan tried to get Chip’s attention.

“Chip?”

“Yeah?”

Chip spoke quietly.

“Give me your room key. I’ll go and grab clothes and medication for us. Afterwards, will stay close to the ocean for a few days so you smell it from the room.

Chip started crying again. He was frazzled and agitated. Ryan slid across his seat and wrapped his long arms around him, rubbing his hands up and down Chip’s arms.

A few minutes after Chip seemed to calm down, Ryan spoke softly in his ear.

“We’ll be okay, Chip. You and I, together, with Jeff will all get there. We’ll take it one day at a time. We’ll fight any battle, the three of us, together. “

Ryan continue to hold him and rub his back until he calmed down.

“All my stuff is in my suitcase.”

“Okay. You just rest and I’ll be right back.” 

Chip nodded to Ryan showing that he understood.

As Ryan walked back to the hotel he phoned Jeff, hoping he was back in L.A.

“Ryan?” 

Jeff was surprised to hear from him.

“Jeff - where the fuck are you?”

“In L.A. - what’s going on?”

“Chip.”

“Chip - is he okay? Shit, he told me he be okay while I’m gone. I just got back home early this morning. I tried calling him but he didn’t pick up.”

“He’s emotional wreck. I’m taking him to the beach right now. Can you meet us out there? I don’t want to take the time to tell you right now; I just want our stuff to and get him out there.

“I knew I shouldn’t have gone to England but he told me to go. I know he felt he was relying on me way too much and wanted to stand on his own.”

“Can you meet us at Dockweiler Beach? Bring some clothes because were finding a hotel near the ocean where he can still smell it. He needs time away from reality for awhile.”

“Ill meet you there. I know the hotel we’ll stay at. Him and I have stayed at a hotel a few times before. I mean it too Ryan, thank you for being there for him.”

“No problem, I’ll meet you out there,” 

Ryan finished gathering what he and Chip needed from the hotel and quickly went back to the truck. Chip had finally fallen into a deep sleep. The ride to the ocean was quiet with the exception of Chip’s snores. Ryan tried to keep his mind free of what happened at the studio but it was hard to keep his emotions calm and cool when he was so angry and dare to say disappointed with Colin’s behavior.

When Ryan and Chip got to the beach, Jeff was already there. Ryan got out the truck and went to where Jeff was standing.

“He’s out for the count.”

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have left him. I should have realized that he wasn’t ready to stand on his two feet.”

“Jeff, stop.” He would have been fine if it ex-wife didn’t call or Colin.”

“Colin?”

“Last Saturday we did a taping. I stayed after the taping to talk to Dan. When the meeting was over with I was walking down the hall when I overheard the beginnings of Chip talking to Patti. After he had finished I knocked on his door. I knew by what I had overheard that the conversation was pleasant. He opened up to me about and we struck up a conversation about our personal lives. Since we’re both on anti-depression medications, we shouldn’t be drinking so we decided to grab something to eat instead.” 

“You? Depressed?”

“I know. It surprises everyone. Since Drew Carey Show wasn’t renewed for the upcoming season I didn’t have anything to focus on. Pat and I have drifted apart as well so we have decided to separate.”

“I’m sorry, Ryan.”

“Oh don’t be about that. It’s really for the best. We’re not rushing any decision to get divorce but she and I are testing the waters and seeing what’s out there.”

“Glad you guys are cool about it and smart.”

“Yeah. We had a long talk about what we want and we have agreed that for right now this is the best option for us. She’s been really supportive.”

“So, what happen with Chip?”

“After we talked on Saturday we started hanging out and he opened up to me about his issues and I opened up about mine. Things were going good. Then he called me late Wednesday, early Thursday morning in tears, needing me to come to his room. Someone had called in earlier in the evening. I’m assuming Colin because Chip was afraid to tell me who it was because I would stop being his friend. His emotions were all over the place, first he would cry and then he would be angry. He was so fucking tired that he asked me to lay down with so he could feel loved. He fell asleep out of pure exhaustion. I left him at 7:30 and he stayed asleep until 12 Noon.

Then earlier today Colin went into his dressing room and said something that sent him into his current manic episode. He became so upset at the studio that he puked. Dan and I slowly walked him to my truck and he’s been either in tears or sleeping ever since.”

“Thank you, Ryan. I appreciate you helping him out. We’ve been through a lot together. I have lost a lot of other so-called friends because I won’t break my bromance with him. What they don't get is that he was the only one that was there for me when I needed someone.”

“Jeff, if you need to vent, you can come to me as well.”

“Same here.”

Jeff and Ryan hug each other.

“Ready to go see Chip? He doesn’t know you’re here so he’ll be thrilled.”

Ryan and Jeff walked to the side where Chip was sleeping and notice that he was pressed up against the passenger side door. Instead, Jeff gets in the truck from the driver’s side and slide over to Chip.

“Chip, buddy, it’s me, Jeff. I’m back from England. I’m here at the ocean with you and Ryan.”

Jeff whispered in Chip’s ear.

Chip wasn’t sure if he was hearing correctly.

“Jeff?”

Chip spoke quietly.

“Yeah, buddy, I’m here, Ryan’s here. Do you want to get out of the truck and go sit by the ocean?”

Chip nodded his head yes. 

“Okay, Ryan is going to open your door and while he’s doing that I’m unbuckling your seatbelt. Just lie into me for a minute while Ryan opens the door and he’ll help you down.” 

Jeff gently instructed him. It was always best to tell Chip what he was doing when Chip felt like this. Surprises at this stage never was a good thing. Jeff could tell that Chip was having a hard time believing that Jeff was back from England and with him and Ryan at the beach. Chip took several deep breaths taking in Jeff’s scent.

Ryan opened the door. 

“Hey, bub. Come down slowly, okay?”

Ryan ended up holding Chip’s in his arms until Jeff came around to help Ryan guide Chip to the beach.

“Okay Chip, let’s get your feet down on the ground and the three of us will walk to our spot.”

As they were getting Chip to his feet, Jeff asked Ryan a question.

“Ryan, didn’t holding Chip didn’t bother your back?”

“He’s way too light for a 6 foot man.”

“Yeah, I know. The medication suppresses his appetite and he’s lost a lot of weight because of it.”

Once Jeff and Ryan got Chip on his two feet Jeff asked if he was ready to walk to their spot.

“You ready Chip to walk?”

Chip just nodded yes. As slow as Dan and Ryan were before, Jeff and Ryan walked with Chip to his favorite place in the world. A place that Chip could just let his mind go and not think.

Ryan wondered why Jeff had a backpack on. Once they found their spot under the tree, Jeff told Chip to stay with Ryan while he unfurled the blanket from the backpack. Once the blanket was ready, Jeff sat against the big oak tree. Once settled, Jeff told Ryan to ease Chip down to him. Chip sat in between Jeff’s legs with his head up against Jeff’s chest. Panicked, Chip wanted to hold on to Ryan somewhere and couldn’t find him.

“Ryan?” 

Chip asked nervously because he didn’t know where he was at.

“It’s okay bub, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere without you two. I’m just going to sit on the ground. You probably can’t reach me because I’m laying down, so just hang on to Jeff, okay?” 

Chip held for dear life onto Jeff. Jeff lightly kissed Chip face or top of his head once in a while and lazily scratched his back lulling Chip back to sleep. 

“Take slow cleansing breaths, Chip. Smell the fragrance of the ocean air; let it blow your troubles away and let it put your mind at ease. I’m so sorry buddy I left you; I know you told me to go but still I wasn’t here when you needed me.” 

Jeff would murmur his love to him with small, heartfelt phrases over and over until he was assured that he was asleep.

It would be 30 minutes of Jeff focusing on Chip; being reacquainted with each other; and Jeff talking to Chip before another word would be said.

“You know Chip wasn’t always like this. So insecure.”

“I know. What happen with Patti?”

“Well one day Chip came home earlier than expected from a job. Do I need to finish?”

“No.”

“What sucks is that she totally blames him for their marriage falling apart. Her other reasoning is because he was never home to take care of her needs. No, he was making a living to keep you a happy housewife so you didn’t have to work. She hates my ass and accuses him with having an affair with me.”

“Why does she hate you?”

“Because I’m not afraid of her. She started yelling at him in front of their kids and I stepped in and told her to stop in a few choice words. She likes to call Chip at least once a week and threaten him with different things - like never seeing the kids again; that she has proof of an affair that he never had; that she’ll take everything from him. She told him once that he was so useless that no one would ever love him and that he should go kill himself.” 

Jeff hugged Chip a bit tighter. 

“That comment led to one of his first manic episodes. I remember that frantic phone call I got from him. I was in the middle of a shoot and left. I was threaten with a lawsuit and I told them that if I didn’t leave right now my best friend would hurt himself. If you want call me tomorrow and let me know if I need to return but I’m leaving. It was a long night of me reassuring Chip that no matter what he was worth something and never let her tell him what his value to the world was. That was the first of many nights we slept together. Never did hear back from the set. Guess I wasn’t needed.”

“How can someone be so angry towards him? And what evidence does she claim to have?”

“That’s the question I would like to have answered about the evidence. I don’t know why she so mad - probably because she got caught and he wouldn’t go back to her. Instead he came running to me. I think that’s why she’s so mad. He still loves her, and no, I don’t know why, but he’s so hurt by her cheating he promised me that he wouldn’t go back to her. One thing I made him do was to get his own bank account so that she wouldn’t take all his money. That was hard for him to do - he was in tears afterwards.”

“Why?”

“Because he was afraid his kids would suffer. He’s so afraid that she or whoever is living in that house will hurt the kids.” 

“Chip was saying that she leaves during the night, leaving the 14 year old in charge.”

“Yep, that’s been confirmed by a number of neighbors. They have even seen a lot of men going in the house too.” 

Few minutes of silence passed between the men. Jeff continued her lazy strokes on Chip’s back just to keep the nightmare away and let him get some rest. It was Jeff who broke the silence

“Do you remember when I told you without him I wouldn’t be here today?”

Ryan nodded.

“Without Chip’s exuberance love for me, I probably would have committed suicide. I felt that everything in my life was going down hill and it was going to stay there. I remember it was a rainy and humid evening when Chip and I went out with friends. When I had excused myself, telling them I didn’t feel well, Chip insisted that he come with me to make sure I got home okay. He had realized my dwindle of despair weeks prior and felt I was going to try and do something. I remember screaming at Chip asking why does he care? It’s been the only time I have ever screamed at him. I told him to leave me alone and let me die in peace. He cried for me Ryan. No one has ever cried for me before. He told me if I would kill myself that he would do it too because without me there was no point for him to live. This was even before all the shit hit the fan with Patti. Chip’s confession that I was so important in his life was the only thing that saved me from doing the unthinkable. He stayed the night with me and just held me. He just let me talk about how I felt and listen to every word I had to say. We told each other as we laid down that night in bed that no matter where we were or what we were doing that if we needed each other we would be there. I wasn’t there for Chip, Ryan,” 

Jeff started to cry.

Ryan got up from his laying position, sat next to Jeff, and wrapped his arms around both men. 

“Jeff, it’s okay.”

“It’s not okay, Ryan. I promised him I would always be able to get to him and I failed.”

“No, you didn’t. He told you to go to England. He didn’t call you and said I need you, come home, did he?”

“But you had to step in.”

“So? I was happy to help. Jeff.” 

Ryan paused and stared at Jeff in the eyes. 

“Please don’t worry about it. Or beat yourself over it. “I want to be there for you and Chip. Let me take some of the pressure off of you,” 

Ryan said giving Jeff an airy kiss on the side of his forehead.

Tears were threatening to take over Jeff. 

“Ryan, I just want him to be happy and find that inner peace that he so desperately needs. Everyday I pray for him that God will help him find a way to achieve that.”

“You have been there for him through so much and now you two have me to rely on as well. It’s hard being the only caretaker for him. But you know, he loves you with all his heart and always wants you. If he’ll hang on to you for dear life then you hang on to me for dear life when you need too.” 

Jeff sobbed into Ryan’s side. Ryan just held both men, letting Jeff cry it out. A release valve that had no where to release until now. Jeff’s crying must have woken Chip because Ryan could tell he hugged Jeff tighter showing Jeff how much he loved his buddy.

A few minutes had passed and the men had quieted down. The tight grasp that Chip had minutes before was now limp and Jeff’s head was resting on top of Chip’s head. Ryan took a hard look at the two men before him. Jeff was confident in himself and poised all the time - where Chip was confident in making people laugh, his confidence in himself was lacking. Then again, when you’re told your worth nothing time and time again, like Chip has been told by Patti and others, it’s gets hard not to believe it.

While Ryan stared out, watching the waves crash gently onto the beach, Jeff could tell that Chip was getting anxious by the way he would grip Jeff’s shirt - it was like Chip was giving it a massage.

“Hey, you want to leave?”

“Gotta get out of here.” 

Chip said to Jeff.

“Okay, we’ll leave.” 

Jeff said and helped Chip get up. Ryan was perplexed by all this but Jeff was the expert when it came to Chip so he went with it. 

Jeff whispered something to Ryan

 

“I’ll explain later. Right now, follow me down to the motel and wait in the truck with Chip. Then, after renting a room we’ll go for a ride in your truck and pray he’ll fall asleep for the night and start all over tomorrow.”

The three of them walked together, with Chip in the middle slowly back to the cars. Jeff talked to Chip when they got to the cars.

“Chip?”

“Yeah?”

“Go with Ryan for now and I’ll meet you at the hotel. I’m going to rent a room near here, the beach, and then we’ll go for a ride, okay?”

“Okay.” 

Together, Jeff and Ryan got Chip easily back into Ryan’s truck. 

“Just follow me. Take a left out of the park and there’s a hotel down the road. I’ll get the room, park my car, and then jump in the truck with you guys. You said you have Chip’s meds?”

“Yep.” 

“Good, then just follow me.”

Ryan followed Jeff out of the park and towards the hotel. Thankfully, there wasn’t much traffic this Saturday evening. Once moving Chip reached for Ryan’s hand and Ryan obliged holding it in a firm grasp. He figured Chip needed something to ground him and physical touch was the easiest way to get that most of the time.

Once they reached the hotel, Jeff parked his car, went into the office and proceeded to get a room.

Meanwhile, in Ryan’s truck….

“Chip, slide over here, next to me.” 

Ryan hugged him with one hand and rubbed his back with the other.

Once Jeff came out of the office he asked for Chip’s pills and Ryan pointed to the glovebox where Jeff found them.

“Give me a minute to get this ready for Chip and we’ll be ready to go,

A few minutes later Jeff reappeared with a bottle of water in his hand and put Chip’s pills back into the glove box. Once Jeff was settled in, Ryan and Jeff had Chip settle on Jeff, with Chip’s ear to Jeff’s heartbeat. Jeff wrapped his arms around Chip, rubbing his back slowly.

“Anywhere particular?”

“No, just drive.” 

Jeff whispered to Ryan.

“Hopefully the motion of the truck will lull him to sleep. And also a crushed up sleeping pill I put in his water. He’s too far strung out to even be able to comprehend right now that he’s safe and with us.”

Jeff turned his attention to Chip

“Chip? Thirsty?”   
Chip nodded and took the bottle of water and drank it entirely in two minutes. 

When Chip was done drinking the water he talked to Chip.

“Feel better?”

All Chip did was yawn.

“That’s right, close your eyes, let the day go. Ryan and I are here with you, nothing can hurt you now, buddy.” 

Jeff continued to comfort him by rubbing his back, periodically gave him kisses on his forehead and just held him. Within 15 minutes Chip was asleep.

Once asleep, Jeff spoke quietly to Ryan.

“He’s out for the night. He has these really bad, bad, bad episodes once in a while where no matter how much you do - he just can’t bring himself down. It’s like a kid whose over tired and you know he’s tired, but his brain just won’t stop and let him rest.”

“What I want to know is what the fuck did Colin say to put him in that state?”

“Ryan, honestly, what Colin may have said may not been bad. You know he could have said something like Ryan is mine or what does he see in you? You know something simple as that but the more his brain thinks about it - it just gets him more and more worked up. Also, he probably was expecting Colin to say something to him so his anxiety was already up, Colin’s speech probably just made it unbearable. So even the trip to the ocean and me showing up couldn’t calm him down, then his anxiety was pretty bad.”

“Now what?” Go to the hotel?”

“Yeah, he’s not going to wake up until tomorrow.”


	12. Jeff and Ryan Heart To Heart

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s a filler chapter. Chip sleeps through most of this chapter as Jeff and Ryan have a heart to heart about what they want in a relationship.

Once assured that Chip was asleep, Ryan started heading back towards the motel. Jeff held Chip and continued to give him sweet, airy kisses ever so often.

“He hasn’t had an episode like this in months. He can usually keep it together but like I said with what went on last week with what you believe was a phone call from Colin and what happened at the studio today sent him over the edge. For most, people would get pissed off and beat a few people up; with him he’s such the opposite - he keeps it all in and he’s the one to get frustrated.” 

Near the motel Jeff tells Ryan to pull into a family pizza joint.

“Trust me Ryan, Antonio’s is the best pizza around.”

Ryan didn’t realize how late it was until Jeff mentioned food.

“Get whatever you like - I know you’re pickier than I am so if I don’t like it I’ll just pick it off. I’ll stay with Chip,” 

Gently Jeff shifted Chip over to Ryan’s arms and waited for him to come out.

It wasn’t even 15 minutes later that Jeff’s order was ready, the boys drove back to the hotel, settled Chip into bed and started eating. Ryan and Jeff were now sitting on opposite sides of the room eating pizza while ESPN played quietly in the background.

Jeff had come to the realization that tonight he had to find out if Ryan was interested at all in him or Chip or both. He had noticed the cute flirts during Improv-a-ganza last summer but wasn’t sure if Ryan was interested or just completely bored and playing games. 

“Ryan, I’m going to ask you something and if you’re offended I apologize but there’s something that has been on mind for the past year. Honestly, I’m nervous to ask.”

Ryan was curious about what Jeff was going to ask, although he had a good idea what it was. He was trying to figure out how to ask Jeff the same thing.

“Go for it.”

Ryan said turning his complete attention to Jeff. Jeff started his question by looking down at the floor.

“I don’t believe I’m about to ask you this but I’m taking that the rumors of you and Colin aren’t true.

Jeff looked up at Ryan, continued to ask another question.

“Let’s say have the two of you experimented with one another?”

“Oh, hell no. Colin is what I would call a homophobe. I tried to ask what his opinion was when we saw to guys kissing one another and he told me that it was disgusting. So I never brought it up again with him.

“Sweet charming, Canadian, my ass.”

Jeff said as both he and Ryan laughed.

There was a pause in the conversation. Ryan was trying to find the courage to speak about his true feelings towards Jeff and Chip.

“Prior to me meeting and settling down with Patti, I dated both guys and girls, but sex with a guy or guys is a lot better than wth a girl.”

Ryan saw Jeff face. He was totally surprised by Ryan’s revelation.

“I settled with Patti because I wanted to get into the Hollywood scene. Hollywood didn’t know how to handle a person who was gay back then. Am I curious about making love with two gorgeous guys from Whose Line? I am but I’ll wait until we’re all willing. I just don’t want to rush a quickie and then we’ve be hurt by it.”

“I have never have had sex with a guy. I know, I know, a lot of people would be surprised by that, but no never found someone or someones that I would be interested in doing it with until recently. And like you I’m not willing to ruin their friendship with me for a quickie. Heck, I haven’t even been intimate with a girl for a couple of years. Now that Chip’s attached to me, I just don’t have the energy to try and have a relationship. Woman can tend to be a bit needy and probably would be jealous of the relationship that I have with Chip. Not worth the pain.”

“I would love to make love to you and Chip but I’m not doing it unless we’re all together and willing. I’m not going to shut Chip out if he’s not comfortable with it. Sorry, but his well being is right now more important than anything. I feel a stronger bond between the three of us than the 20 years I have been friends with Colin.”

There was a comfortable paused for a bit. Then Ryan asked Jeff an important question.

What’s your feelings towards Chip?”

“What is this, Truth or Dare?” 

Jeff asked and Ryan smirked.

“The truth is that Chip’s is my closest, dearest, and best friend. He’s sweet, handsome and yes I have a crush on him. I’m interested in making mad, passionate love to him. I now know you and I are interested in each other as well. But, we have to be patient and wait. I don’t want to complicate everything and lose you and Chip because we lack patients. It will happen soon but we have to wait. Believe me, I’m always prepared just in case - we’ll just have to show him how much we care for him.”

Ryan and Jeff’s attention was diverted to Chip’s now screaming form on the bed.

“Shit, drugged induced nightmare. Don’t get behind him, Ryan. He’s prone to swing his arms. Just stay behind me and no sudden movements.”

“Chip? It’s me, Jeff.” 

Jeff said as he calmly walked to him. Jeff’s voice was enough to bring Chip out of the nightmare and Chip thrust his arms out to him.

“Jeffy?”

“Yeah, Chippy, it’s me.” 

Jeff as he laid Chip back down in the bed with him holding Chip tightly in his arms with his head resting on Jeff’s chest.

“I’m scared”

Ryan stayed out of Chip’s view, not knowing if Chip was awake or asleep still. Jeff had the situation under control and Chip was calm and was falling back asleep.

Jeff, laid on the bed, holding Chip, whispering reassurance to him.

“You know you’re okay. It’s only a dream. I’m here with Ryan at the hotel.”

“I’m so tired, Jeff,” Chip said back, hanging onto Jeff like a teddy bear.

“I know you are, just try and go back to sleep. Ryan and I will be right here with you when you wake up.” 

Jeff gently kissed Chip’s forehead and hummed the ever so annoying Barney theme song until Jeff was assured he was asleep.

Once assured Chip was asleep Jeff disentangled himself from Chip’s grasp. 

“I hate it for him and I’m sure he’ll hate himself when he realizes what has happened today. But I didn’t have a choice about not giving him that sleeping pill. I even knew which bad dream it was when he called me Jeffy. He keeps having this dream that I’m drowning. He used to always love to go swimming but now if he’s near water or me he literally has a panic attack.”

“But Barney?”

“It works. It’s more for the feeling of the vibrations in my chest. I do it low enough so it soothes him. Blame my niece Maddox for the inspiration - she would watch Barney over and over again when she was little.”

“Yeah, thought I would miss the Barney phase until Clare came along.”

The guys settled on the couch, but at either end of it. Ryan kept an eye on Jeff, who Ryan noticed was keeping more of an eye on Chip sleeping than anything else. He could tell Jeff was trying to hold the tears back; just upset that Chip was having an upsetting day.

Ryan couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jeff, come here.”

Ryan ordered Jeff to slide over to him and as soon as he was within Ryan’s grasp he pulled Jeff into a tight hug, comforting him by rubbing his back.

“It’s okay and it’ll be okay. I promise, it will be the three of us versus the world.” 

Jeff tears were silent; Ryan rubbed his back, allowing Jeff to relax and fall asleep.

Ryan just let Jeff rest while watching mindless television. Eventually the events of the day caught up to him and Ryan decided to get some sleep.

“Come on, Jeff. Let’s get you settled next to Chip.”

The moment that Jeff laid down, both he and Chip bear hugged one another. Ryan could see how relax both of them were once they found one another in their sleep. Ryan decided it would be better to sleep on the couch since he didn’t know where the relationship was standing at the moment. He gave both of them kisses on their cheeks and wished them a peaceful night sleep. He turned out the lights, settled on the couch and promptly fell asleep as ESPN Sport Center played on the television.


	13. I Love You, You Love Me, We’re a Happy Family

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Chip makes the first move

Jeff was the first to awaken. He wasn’t exactly sure how he got to bed because his last memory of the previous night was crying and being comforted by Ryan on the couch.

Currently, Jeff was on his back while Chip was laying partially on top of him. Ever so often, Chip’s body would jolt, like he was having a bad dream and Jeff would rub his back and whisper encouraging words telling him that it was okay. He knew he would have to move but for the moment he enjoyed holding Chip.

Eventually Jeff had to move. As he got up he noticed that the clock read 7:30 in the morning. He decided to have a cigarette when Chip’s phone stated ringing.

“Shit.”

Jeff frantically ran to the phone. Seeing it was the bitch of his soon-to-be ex-wife Jeff sent it to voicemail. Probably wanted to tell Chip how horrible of a husband and father he is.

Jeff just wanted to convince Chip that he was so much more than his piece of shit ex-wife ever told him. God, he had never wanted to violently hurt someone until she was introduced in his world. He just wanted to convince Chip he was so much more than what his jealous wife thought he was. Seriously, Jeff was so tempted to wake Ryan and Chip up just have the most roughest sex possible but he knew that Chip wasn’t ready for that.

Jeff was brought out of his thoughts by Chip screaming Jeff’s name over and over again. Both Ryan and Jeff ran to Chip, waking him up as fast as possible to convince him that he was okay.

“Jeff?”

Chip asked weary. 

Jeff sat on the bed, put his arms straight out, resting on Chip’s shoulders, making eye contact with him and calmly spoke to Chip.

“See buddy, I’m okay, you’re okay. We’re with Ryan at the hotel that you like near the ocean.

Chip looked around the room and Ryan slowly came into view.

“See bub, you’re safe and sound with us.” 

Ryan said as he sat on the opposite side of Jeff, next to Chip and slowly and calmly rubbed Chip’s back.

The boys could tell Chip wanted to say something but the words were stuck in his throat as tears welled in his eyes. 

“It’s okay to cry Chip.” 

Jeff calmly told him. 

As tears dripped, the boys laid on the bed together, holding on to one another.

Minutes past, only hearing the breaths of each other. Ryan and Jeff thought that Chip had fallen back to sleep until he started to whisper the details of the nightmare with his eyes closed.

“It felt so real. The last thing I concretely remember from yesterday was arriving at the beach. I thought I dreamt Jeff had returned from England but apparently not.”

“Nope - I arrived yesterday morning. Ryan called me and let me know what happened with you and Colin and the phone calls from Patti.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t be able to handle a week alone.”

“Chip stop it. We all know you wear your emotions on your sleeves and it doesn’t help when others take advantage of that.”

Jeff said as he and Ryan sat up a bit, balancing themselves on their elbows. Both Ryan and Jeff lightly caress Chip as he talks more about his dream.

“That dream scared the shit out of me. We were in a house and suddenly Patti and her current boyfriend show up with guns drawn and....” 

Chip stuttered, looking at Jeff, and trying not to let his emotions get the best of him.

Jeff bent down and kissed Chip’s forehead.

“I’m right here; it was only a dream; come on now, tell me what happened.”

“She killed you in cold blood, and told me that she would kill anyone else that I fell in love with in a weird witchy voice.” 

Chip said than grabbed onto Jeff, holding him, as he tried to gain his composure to talk about the rest of the dream.

In a much calmer voice, Chip continued.

“I got up to go chase after her and Ryan was dead on the floor. The two men I care about most in this world she had killed. I can’t handle dreams like that. I feel that my world is spinning out of control and no one but you two care. I really wish my mind would stop over reacting to everything. I’m so fucking tired because I every time I drift off to sleep I’m so anxious that I’m going to have a nightmare that I don’t sleep well.”

Chip did something that shocked the boys.

Chip had always been interested in Jeff and had a man crush on Ryan. He never acted on his feelings because he was married and to him cheating was just wrong and not acceptable. But now since his marriage was over and he knew where Ryan stood about his sexuality he knew he was the one who had to make the first move.

Chip slammed his lips on Jeff’s, slipping in his tongue and sloppy kissed him.

Once the kiss was over Jeff asked him an important question.

“Chip, you’re sure you want to do this?”

Before answering, Chip turned his attention to Ryan and kissed him.

“I’m tired of being the good guy; I just want to feel and be loved. Is that so hard to ask? I’m so sick of the bitch telling me how much of a horrible person I am; I just want make love to you two.”

Ryan and Jeff looked at each other shocked. Granted they were excited to make love but they both knew that this was about what Chip needed, wanted, and most of feel that he was loved.

Jeff started making out with Chip. Sloppy kisses, tongues intertwine with each other. Chip stop making out with Chip for a moment to take a breath and also to grab Jeff’s crotch. Jeff took a few deep breath in hopes of not cumming and ruining the moment.

Ryan was busily tasting Chip, lost in his own world, stretching Chip out. Ever so often Ryan would brush against that magical spot which Chip would suck a little harder on Jeff’s penis, causing moans from all three men.

“Ryan, I need you in me now!” 

Chip demanded!

Not to be disappointed, Ryan quickly lubed his penis with his spit and slammed his entire length in Chip’s hole.

Words could not describe the pleasurable feeling that was coursing through Chip’s body.

“Is that what you want, Chip?” 

Ryan said with seduction.

“Just fuck me, please.,” 

That was all Chip could say as he greedily enjoyed Jeff’s penis.

With Chip mouth on his penis; and Ryan lost in enjoying Chip’s tightness; Jeff arranged his body so he could suck on Chip’s penis that was so wanting attention.

Chip could only make a guttural sound when Jeff began to taste. Jeff knew Chip was enjoying himself by the faster speed of Chip jerking Jeff off.

Suddenly Ryan moaned, “Oh shit, I’m going to....; oh, shit, oh, shit, oh shit,” and then slammed once more as hard as he could into Chip, letting his seed fill up his hole. That just sent Chip and then Jeff over the edge.

Ryan slowly removed himself from Chip, grabbed a blanket, and crawled up next to him; exhausted by the activity. Jeff situated himself so he was on the other side of Chip; drained. The boys snuggled together and were soon fast asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I truly suck at writing sex scenes but let's just say a good time was had by all.


End file.
